


All I See Is His Face Grinning

by cloudsgrl



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Gen, Joshua - Freeform, M/M, Neku S. & Yoshiya K.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-12-08
Updated: 2011-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsgrl/pseuds/cloudsgrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Challenge Wide-Warning: Possibility of boy love, adult concepts, adult language, A/U, A/R, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1: Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Universe, Cross-dressing, teacher!Joshua, studentassistant!Neku

The final morning bell rang and Dr. Kiryu stepped into the room. The first thing Neku noticed was the elaborate poufy gothic dress, with lace strewn all about, a matching hat in the ashy colored hair. If it wasn't for the fitted chest and lack of any breasts Neku and most of the class would have considered the doctor a girl. Upon the realization that their teacher was a guy in a dress finally registered in the students' minds. In his hand was a black clutch, and were his nails painted?

Neku scrunched his nose, glancing over the class of other high school students. Neku was only standing in front because he was a year older and he was assigned as the doctor's teaching assistant. The senior shifted on his feet when Dr. Kiryu placed his clutch on the desk and glanced at him. The high school senior froze when he saw the older man's eyes. A lavender, lilac, a pale purple color. How interesting, that wasn't a normal eye color. Faintly Neku wondered if he was borderline albino. Was that possible?

Dr. Kiryu smirked and his teaching assistant felt a wave of emotions bombard him, however what mostly got him was irritation. Right off the bat the doctor made him want to punch something. If the doctor noticed the way his assistant's hands clenched together and grit his teeth slightly, he made no comment. He turned towards the class, offering them a small smile that Neku knew immediately was fake.

"Good morning class," the smooth voice of the doctor wafted over the students, those that had been slumped over in exhaustion immediately sat straight up and those who had been chatting turned their attention to him. The doctor had a commanding presence. A domineering presence. Or maybe it was the gothic dress. "My name is Kiryu Yoshiya, and I am your homeroom teacher for this year. Some of you might even have me for History, and if so I am very pleased to meet you now." He clapped his hands together and the class jumped.

"I hope you all will find you can come to me if you have any comments or questions," Dr. Kiryu motioned to a stack of cards on his desk, "instead of taking attendance the usual way, I'll hand out a bunch of note cards and you'll answer a couple of questions on the board." Neku immediately took the cards and began handing them out, the doctor offering Neku another smile at following the unspoken command, and the boy fumed. He had complied without even thinking about it.

Dr. Kiryu wrote the series of questions on the white board, his handwriting a flowing script that made Neku nervous about his own scratchy handwriting. As the students started filling out the questions the doctor motioned for Neku to come closer. "Hello Sakuraba," the doctor cooed, "I'm so pleased to know you're going to be assisting me this year." Neku didn't dare open his mouth, knowing if he did something extremely inappropriate would come flying out, like 'I hate you already', 'Go jump off a bridge' or even 'I think you look pretty in that dress.' As if knowing his thoughts, the doctor smiled again, a glimmer appearing in his eyes. "And don't worry, I don't always wear a dress," He winked, "unless you want me to?"

Neku reeled back, blue eyes wide and a flush spreading across his cheeks. The students in the class were all silent, watching the show at the front of the room with wide eyes. Some of them were even leaning forward, as if trying to get a better view. A sly smile began spreading across the doctor's face, and as he reached for the marker on the board to continue writing, the bell rang once again. The students scrambled to pack up and Kiryu told the students to place their cards on the desk.

The assistant pulled his back pack on and followed the students out of the room. "Oh Sakuraba?" Neku unwillingly paused in the doorway, glancing at the grown man in a gothic Lolita dress. "I'll see you soon" Neku flushed once again as the doctor moved to blow him a kiss, slamming the door shut behind him and ignoring the other students grouped around the door.

It's only for a year…


	2. 1: Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter: Canon, Five Years Later

**67.**   
**Playing the Melody**

Neku stared at the wall, the once elaborate and vibrant CAT graffiti was faded and dull with age. Neku was twenty now, was an adult, and yet he still came to this wall every week. His hair had grown out, his eyes were nowhere as bright as before, reality had hurt the dreamer and yet he still managed to dream. His family was gone now, his irritating younger siblings and his ever-doting mother left Shibuya for a better job in another district of Tokyo. Only a small train ride away but the dreamer never visited.

It didn't feel right to leave something he loved.

Neku toyed with his bangs, well used to the feeling of his hair falling around his face on brushing against his neck now. It had been ages since the last time he bothered spiking his hair, or even wore an overly large pair of headphones. He preferred the tiny earbuds, they were much easier to sneak into his classes or at his jobs. He could have left Shibuya, he was offered a job with Tokyo's largest advertising company. They loved the random pieces of art he did, but Neku didn't like working under a clock. He let the ideas come to them as they wished. Besides,

it didn't feel right to leave something he cared for.

Neku rested his forehead against the wall, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. A pair of purple eyes came into the forefront of his mind and Neku smiled. "See you there?" As usual, after five years, there was still no response. Neku allowed what music he could hear, or the music his mind made up for him (the music of Shibuya?) as the earbuds were in his pocket and the mp3 player dead, overload his senses and he let himself get taken into that wave. "If you cared Josh, you wouldn't keep me waiting."

The twenty year old pulled himself away from the wall, immediately feeling an emptiness resonate deep inside. And like every week Neku took a shaky breath before turning away from the wall, walking back through Udagawa and towards 104. Shiki was working today and he figured he might as well stop by, it was on the way home.

He walked through Tipsy Tose Hall, AMX and Center Street Entrance with no problem, but when he reached the Scramble Crossing the music came back, faint, barely an echo of what he would have heard had he stayed at the wall. Neku closed his eyes and focused on the sound, following it subconsciously. It led him through packs of people, safely away from cars, and to the statue of Hachiko. Neku opened his eyes and felt as if all his air was knocked out of him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," and then a giggle. That giggle that Neku heard in his sleep. Neku walked up to him, struggled to find the words to say, the words he always wanted to say…

And punched Joshua in the arm.


	3. 11: Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter: Canon, a couple weeks after the Game

**11\. Memory**

 _"But Neku, I thought you couldn't afford to lose."_

Joshua's voice echoed in the reaches of his mind, distracting him from homework. It was so stupid, he knew it happened, and he was over it. Way over it.

 _"It was me, I'm the Composer."_

Every time his mind replayed his memories of the game, Neku wanted to cry. Again and again. The betrayal hurt no matter how much time had been since then. Maybe a year, or two… Who was he kidding? Neku was able to tell the exact day and time since he was given back his life and yet his friends, the ones he struggled through the game with (all but one) didn't remember. They'd talk about how they met at Hachiko, but they couldn't remember why they met there.

Walking past Ramen Don made Neku hallucinate, made him believe he was seeing Joshua, sitting inside eating his shoyu ramen and making obscene noises. He avoided walking anywhere near Dogenzaka or A-East if he could. Sometimes he couldn't avoid it, not without being a total jerk about it, so he always had his gaze averted. Focused on something else, like Mr. Mew or his mp3 player or would attempt to steal Beat's hat and run with it, if only to get away quicker.

It was torture, it was bittersweet, it was one of the happiest moments of his life. Or unlife.

 _Trust your partner._

It was nothing more than a memory now, and nothing could change that.


	4. 75: Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter: A/R, Joshua-centric
> 
> Author's Note: sorry for all the update alerts for the few of you that have alerted this already or are on my author alert. I'm writing them as they come to me, so when I update my brain has been immediately clicking back over to the list of themes and spots one and starts writing again.

**75.**   
**Mirror**

Joshua glared at his reflection, more specifically at the strand of hair poking completely straight up and refused to cooperate with him. He was the Composer! He couldn't have a bad hair day, that would be just absurd. And the Composer knew it wasn't all his own fault, it was the reflection, the mirror Joshua. Joshua crossed his arms and watched as his reflection leaned against the mirror frame instead, smirking.

"Are you planning on cooperating today?" He questioned the reflection, ignoring the incredulous stare Sanae gave him from the other side of the coffee bar. His reflection shook his head and Joshua heaved a sigh.

A hat wouldn't match the current outfit; he'd have to change… again… for the fifth time. Every outfit so far had something wrong with it: coffee stain, hole in the pocket, fraying hem, tear in the collar and now because his outfit didn't go with his astoundingly large collection of hats. Neku would probably laugh had he seen how many hats the Composer had, but that was beside the point! It was the reflection's fault.

The overly dramatic Composer-turned-teen stomped to his unofficial room in the WildKat and rummaged through the closet; and when Josh meant closet, he was talking about a room large enough to house another queen-sized bed and the numerous outfits and secret stash of hats.

In here was a mirror as well, and at first Joshua couldn't see his reflection. It just wasn't there. And then the smug replica sauntered into his view and the Composer childish stuck his tongue out at it. The reflection laughed, the sound wasn't heard but the mirror's surface rippled like a puddle in the rain.

It wasn't the first time he got into a fight with the reflection, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Stupid mirror," Joshua mumbled to himself as he pulled out a pair of clingy pants, a flowing shirt that Princess K would approve of and a large hat with an obnoxious feather stuck in the band. If anything he'd get more attention. The mirror laughed again and Joshua threw a high-heeled shoe at it. At least now no one would see that renegade strand of hair.


	5. 36: Precious Treasure

When Yoshiya Kiryu became a Composer, he never wondered about what would happen to that one who was connected to the other side of the string. That red string he grew up hearing about in tales from his parents and his older siblings, but once he decided living wasn’t for him, he gave up on that legend. Besides, who cared about that stupid string anyway? Undoubtedly it rent in two when he chose this afterlife.

On the anniversary of his appointment, an angel visited him. “Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?” The young Composer declined and the angel responded, “Do you wish to be lonely for the rest of your nonlife?” At this question the Composer paused before shaking his head. No one truly wished to be lonely. “Then I shall return a year from now and ask the same question.”

The angel left Yoshiya’s territory and the young Composer returned to his job. Despite the job being solitary in nature, he found comfort in his Conductor and the officers below him, and in the angel that appeared every year on the anniversary of his appointment as a Composer. And each year the angel asked, “Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?” and he would respond the same every time.

After twenty years of being the Composer, Yoshiya stopped responding to the angel’s questions, refusing to acknowledge the angel or his purpose. Sanae had explained that the angel existed only to reveal one’s destined mate, and the longer one went without the angel’s help, the more likely the person was to lose their mate forever. Yoshiya wasn’t worried, he thought he had lost the chance when he died.

But still, every year the angel came to him and asked that question. “Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?”

More time passed, and Yoshiya grew bored with his nonlife. No longer had the Conductor or the officers amused him, and the little conversations he occasionally overheard from the Reapers no longer held any interest. It was as if his dear Shibuya was stagnating.

And then, the angel came again and asked that same question. And this time, Yoshiya’s heart clenched. He wanted to meet that one who he was meant for, that one who was born just for him. So Yoshiya nodded. And the angel smiled. “You’ll meet him soon.”

But time passed some more, and the angel stopped showing every year. Time was no longer traceable in the Composer’s vision. There was no event to time his inner-clock by now the angel had no reason to visit him. Shibuya became worse and he couldn’t take it anymore.

When Yoshiya decided to go and pick his proxy after the conversation he had with his dear Megumi, he felt the tug, the pull of something much greater than himself. He listened to the music of his territory, of his Shibuya and found himself in the Ugadawa backstreets. Standing at the mural was a boy who glowed with an inner light. The light of imagination, he called it. His mind cried for the boy, knowing immediately he was perfect for his plans, and his heart screamed in anguish when he fired the bullet that took the boy’s life.

The Composer dropped the Player pin on the teen, his eyes alight with an inner fire he hadn’t felt in eons. And while his temporary form begged to touch the boy, to make sure this was who his heart claimed to be, he took a couple steps away and returned to planning the next three weeks.

Yoshiya found himself stalking the boy, being a bit too obsessed with his actions more so than that of his Conductor’s. But the Conductor was nothing in his mind now that he found this dear boy called Neku. As far as he was concerned, Neku was all that mattered. And when he finally had the chance to fully interact with the boy, Yoshiya was so… happy. Just having him nearby made him practically scream in glee, like some odd fan girl. Separating from Neku, even if it was to save him at the end of that week truly caused his heart to crumble up. Nothing felt right unless that spit-fire was nearby.

Then, finally that last game came. He took Neku’s fee and aimed the gun at Neku’s chest. What was disappointing was the fact no matter who won this little game, Neku’s fee would be taken away, permanently. When the Composer pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit the teen in the heart, he felt his own rend completely to shreds. Nothing was worth anything unless Neku was able to be involved.

Because Neku was something precious. Something worthwhile. Something that made Yoshiya Kiryu feel so bittersweet. He’d finally found his destined, the one who his string of fate connected him to, across time, space and mortality. And he’d only have to wait just a little longer before he could keep his Neku forever.

Because that boy was his precious treasure. His alone.


	6. 36: Precious Treasure

When Yoshiya Kiryu became a Composer, he never wondered about what would happen to that one who was connected to the other side of the string. That red string he grew up hearing about in tales from his parents and his older siblings, but once he decided living wasn't for him, he gave up on that legend. Besides, who cared about that stupid string anyway? Undoubtedly it rent in two when he chose this afterlife.

On the anniversary of his appointment, an angel visited him. "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?" The young Composer declined and the angel responded, "Do you wish to be lonely for the rest of your nonlife?" At this question the Composer paused before shaking his head. No one truly wished to be lonely. "Then I shall return a year from now and ask the same question."

The angel left Yoshiya's territory and the young Composer returned to his job. Despite the job being solitary in nature, he found comfort in his Conductor and the officers below him, and in the angel that appeared every year on the anniversary of his appointment as a Composer. And each year the angel asked, "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?" and he would respond the same every time.

After twenty years of being the Composer, Yoshiya stopped responding to the angel's questions, refusing to acknowledge the angel or his purpose. Sanae had explained that the angel existed only to reveal one's destined mate, and the longer one went without the angel's help, the more likely the person was to lose their mate forever. Yoshiya wasn't worried, he thought he had lost the chance when he died.

But still, every year the angel came to him and asked that question. "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?"

More time passed, and Yoshiya grew bored with his nonlife. No longer had the Conductor or the officers amused him, and the little conversations he occasionally overheard from the Reapers no longer held any interest. It was as if his dear Shibuya was stagnating.

And then, the angel came again and asked that same question. And this time, Yoshiya's heart clenched. He wanted to meet that one who he was meant for, that one who was born just for him. So Yoshiya nodded. And the angel smiled. "You'll meet him soon."

But time passed some more, and the angel stopped showing every year. Time was no longer traceable in the Composer's vision. There was no event to time his inner-clock by now the angel had no reason to visit him. Shibuya became worse and he couldn't take it anymore.

When Yoshiya decided to go and pick his proxy after the conversation he had with his dear Megumi, he felt the tug, the pull of something much greater than himself. He listened to the music of his territory, of his Shibuya and found himself in the Ugadawa backstreets. Standing at the mural was a boy who glowed with an inner light. The light of imagination, he called it. His mind cried for the boy, knowing immediately he was perfect for his plans, and his heart screamed in anguish when he fired the bullet that took the boy's life.

The Composer dropped the Player pin on the teen, his eyes alight with an inner fire he hadn't felt in eons. And while his temporary form begged to touch the boy, to make sure this was who his heart claimed to be, he took a couple steps away and returned to planning the next three weeks.

Yoshiya found himself stalking the boy, being a bit too obsessed with his actions more so than that of his Conductor's. But the Conductor was nothing in his mind now that he found this dear boy called Neku. As far as he was concerned, Neku was all that mattered. And when he finally had the chance to fully interact with the boy, Yoshiya was so… happy. Just having him nearby made him practically scream in glee, like some odd fan girl. Separating from Neku, even if it was to save him at the end of that week truly caused his heart to crumble up. Nothing felt right unless that spit-fire was nearby.

Then, finally that last game came. He took Neku's fee and aimed the gun at Neku's chest. What was disappointing was the fact no matter who won this little game, Neku's fee would be taken away, permanently. When the Composer pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit the teen in the heart, he felt his own rend completely to shreds. Nothing was worth anything unless Neku was able to be involved.

Because Neku was something precious. Something worthwhile. Something that made Yoshiya Kiryu feel so bittersweet. He'd finally found his destined, the one who his string of fate connected him to, across time, space and mortality. And he'd only have to wait just a little longer before he could keep his Neku forever.

Because that boy was his precious treasure. His alone.

36\. Precious Treasure

When Yoshiya Kiryu became a Composer, he never wondered about what would happen to that one who was connected to the other side of the string. That red string he grew up hearing about in tales from his parents and his older siblings, but once he decided living wasn't for him, he gave up on that legend. Besides, who cared about that stupid string anyway? Undoubtedly it rent in two when he chose this afterlife.

On the anniversary of his appointment, an angel visited him. "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?" The young Composer declined and the angel responded, "Do you wish to be lonely for the rest of your nonlife?" At this question the Composer paused before shaking his head. No one truly wished to be lonely. "Then I shall return a year from now and ask the same question."

The angel left Yoshiya's territory and the young Composer returned to his job. Despite the job being solitary in nature, he found comfort in his Conductor and the officers below him, and in the angel that appeared every year on the anniversary of his appointment as a Composer. And each year the angel asked, "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?" and he would respond the same every time.

After twenty years of being the Composer, Yoshiya stopped responding to the angel's questions, refusing to acknowledge the angel or his purpose. Sanae had explained that the angel existed only to reveal one's destined mate, and the longer one went without the angel's help, the more likely the person was to lose their mate forever. Yoshiya wasn't worried, he thought he had lost the chance when he died.

But still, every year the angel came to him and asked that question. "Do you wish to meet the other tied to your string?"

More time passed, and Yoshiya grew bored with his nonlife. No longer had the Conductor or the officers amused him, and the little conversations he occasionally overheard from the Reapers no longer held any interest. It was as if his dear Shibuya was stagnating.

And then, the angel came again and asked that same question. And this time, Yoshiya's heart clenched. He wanted to meet that one who he was meant for, that one who was born just for him. So Yoshiya nodded. And the angel smiled. "You'll meet him soon."

But time passed some more, and the angel stopped showing every year. Time was no longer traceable in the Composer's vision. There was no event to time his inner-clock by now the angel had no reason to visit him. Shibuya became worse and he couldn't take it anymore.

When Yoshiya decided to go and pick his proxy after the conversation he had with his dear Megumi, he felt the tug, the pull of something much greater than himself. He listened to the music of his territory, of his Shibuya and found himself in the Ugadawa backstreets. Standing at the mural was a boy who glowed with an inner light. The light of imagination, he called it. His mind cried for the boy, knowing immediately he was perfect for his plans, and his heart screamed in anguish when he fired the bullet that took the boy's life.

The Composer dropped the Player pin on the teen, his eyes alight with an inner fire he hadn't felt in eons. And while his temporary form begged to touch the boy, to make sure this was who his heart claimed to be, he took a couple steps away and returned to planning the next three weeks.

Yoshiya found himself stalking the boy, being a bit too obsessed with his actions more so than that of his Conductor's. But the Conductor was nothing in his mind now that he found this dear boy called Neku. As far as he was concerned, Neku was all that mattered. And when he finally had the chance to fully interact with the boy, Yoshiya was so… happy. Just having him nearby made him practically scream in glee, like some odd fan girl. Separating from Neku, even if it was to save him at the end of that week truly caused his heart to crumble up. Nothing felt right unless that spit-fire was nearby.

Then, finally that last game came. He took Neku's fee and aimed the gun at Neku's chest. What was disappointing was the fact no matter who won this little game, Neku's fee would be taken away, permanently. When the Composer pulled the trigger, and the bullet hit the teen in the heart, he felt his own rend completely to shreds. Nothing was worth anything unless Neku was able to be involved.

Because Neku was something precious. Something worthwhile. Something that made Yoshiya Kiryu feel so bittersweet. He'd finally found his destined, the one who his string of fate connected him to, across time, space and mortality. And he'd only have to wait just a little longer before he could keep his Neku forever.

Because that boy was his precious treasure. His alone.


	7. 46: Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy, marriage, cross-dressing, (implied) half-incest(?), Joshua/Neku
> 
> And fanart of this section would be totally appreciated!

For as long as Yoshiya "Joshua" Kiryu could remember, it had always been just him and his mother. As soon as his birth father had impregnated his mother, the man had up and left her on her own to raise him. All through elementary and junior high, and now almost all the way through high school it had been just him and his kind, beautiful, over-worked, under-paid mother.

And now she was getting married.

He stood in the chapel, adjusting his suit for the hundredth or so time. In his opinion the colors chosen for the split-second wedding weren't really the best (a fuchsia and an almost neon teal) and clashed horribly, but it wasn't his wedding to worry about. It was his mother's, and as long as she was happy that's what he cared about.

He looked himself over in the mirror nearby once more, running his pianist fingers through his short silvery ash hair while he stared into his own eyes, a pair of lavender orbs that appeared dull in the artificial lighting.

He probably wouldn't have had such an issue with the wedding had it been something expected. But he'd never heard of this Sakuraba man in his life, nor had she ever mentioned him until earlier this week, when his dear mother announced, "I'm getting married!" And, to add to the issue, his dear new father had a daughter of his own. He had to share his space with a man and his daughter, both who he'd never met before today.

Life was going to suck.

Joshua peeked in on his mother, finding her standing in front of the mirror. He couldn't hold back the small smile that came on his face when he realized how insanely happy she truly was. He stepped inside the room and shut the door behind himself; the click catching his mother's attention. "Oh Joshy," she practically ran to him, almost tripping in the flowing skirt. Like any woman, Joshua knew his mother needed to feel like a princess for at least a day. "Should I really be doing this?" He raised an eyebrow, did all women do this? "I mean, I never bothered introducing you to him, and never got your opinion on him. What if I'm making a mistake?"

"Mom," he pulled her into a hug, holding her tiny form close. "What you need to ask yourself is if he truly makes you happy. If so, then I cannot complain." Joshua pulled again and kissed her on her forehead. "I love you Mom, and that's all I want is for you to be happy."

"Joshy," she practically whined as she pulled him in a hug again, sounding like she was ready to cry. "You're always so sweet!" He rolled his eyes playfully and gather her bouquet. She dabbed at her eyes and took his arm. "You'll walk me down the aisle, won't you?"

He nodded and was answered with a smile that he'd remember forever. His mom truly was everything to him. "Let's go. Don't want to keep your soon-to-be-husband waiting for too long."

The ceremony passed without a hitch, Joshua handing his mother over to the man without a sign of his displeasure. Who was he to truly complain at his mother's happiness. If she found it in this man, he couldn't really throw a fit. The two said their vows and both sides of the family threw bird seed and said their congratulations before heading to the reception.

Joshua was left back at the chapel, undoing his bowtie slightly and glancing at the girl left behind. She had shoulder length orange hair, curled around her face and stunning blue eyes. She wore the customary flower girl dress, despite the fact he knew she was almost his age. He recognized her immediately from his new father's family. "I assume you need a ride to the reception..."

Her bright eyes gave him a quick once over before she nodded. "You're Joshua?" Her voice was soft, timid almost. Joshua had to resist the urge to smile, he'd been told he came across as a creeper occasionally when he smiled. He agreed and she smiled herself, a large grin that lit up the entire room. "I'm Neka," she glanced around, as if surprised it was only the two of them left behind. "Your new sister."

"Well," Joshua drawled, holding out a hand for his adorable little sister, "I wish we could have met under better circumstances –" at this the girl snorted, "But it appears our parents figured we are adult enough to figure this out on our own. To the reception?"

Neka took his hand, he was a bit surprised at the slight callousness on her fingers, and he led his 'sister', she did not feel like a sister at all… more like a love interest of some sort, to his car. He opened the door for her, having been trained since he could walk about chivalry, and she managed a flush as she sat in the passenger seat.

The drive to the reception was quiet, with nothing but the faint sounds of Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Dreams of Candlelight trickling through the speakers. Neka was fiddling with the basket, her fingers playing with the rose petals as she hummed along with the song. They pulled into the parking lot of the reception, Joshua letting Neka out just in front of the door. She peered in the rolled down window. "You sure? I could stay with you while you find a parking spot."

Joshua waved her away. "Don't worry Neka, I'll only take a few moments." Her face scrunched together adorably and he placated her. "You could wait right outside the door, if you don't want to enter alone." She seemed to calm at this and nodded. She stepped away from the car and waited for him. Joshua gave her a smile when seeing her stand nervously at the entry, something that made her blush again and look away.

The reception was just as horribly designed as the wedding, with the clashing colors and the lackluster dj. Joshua had half the mind to go and take over the dj booth. Could he play any more dull sounding songs? All it would take is his mp3 player and the reception would get livelier, and that was with the standard classical music as well.

His mother and new father were dancing, an amusing sight at the fact his mother couldn't dance to save her life and Mr. Sakuraba was trying his hardest not to laugh at his wife's worried face. Joshua led Neka to her seat on the dais, and he sat in his, both watching their parents enjoy and make fools of themselves with small smiles on their faces.

Joshua couldn't help but constantly glance in his sibling's direction, and not because they were related now. Her smile made butterflies erupt in his stomach, and the high school senior never felt that way around anyone before. Her eyes met his and she managed a grin, not quite holding back her blush. Joshua noted she liked to blush around him, but for what reason was it?

The newlyweds cut the cake and people all around danced. And when it came time for the new Mrs. Sakuraba to throw the bouquet, Neka was dragged right up front by one of her cousins. Joshua watched with a chuckle as his "dear little sister" caught it with a blush that rivaled her hair color. Mr. Sakuraba tossed the garter almost nonchalantly, an act that sent it right on top of Joshua's head. The teen scowled slightly, resisting the urge to blush as he plucked it out of his hair.

As tradition dictated, Joshua would be required to put the garter onto the woman who caught the bouquet. How awkward it would be, seeing as they were now siblings. Mr. Sakuraba was quick to argue for a rethrow, he didn't want his daughter touched by her new big brother, but everyone else defended the tradition. It wasn't like any romantic feelings were behind it, right?

Neka sat in the chair, nervously tucking her curled hair behind her ears as she focused on the tiled floor. Joshua twirled the lacy garter in his hand slightly before kneeling before her. He couldn't hold back his own blush as he pulled the garter onto her leg, slowly pulling it higher and higher until it was hidden underneath her dress and halfway up her thigh. Neka maintained a bright blush for the entirety as the photographer took pictures. Just before Joshua was about to stand, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Meet me by the fruit punch."

Joshua gave a small nod, meeting her gaze with a wink. Her blush somehow got brighter and Joshua stood. He offered Neka a hand, which she took gingerly and helped her stand. The festivities continued on as if the duos public humiliation hadn't occurred, the newlyweds delightfully eating more cake and accepting dance invites from family members. Joshua and Neka sneaked away towards the punch bowl, where no one bothered heading with the waiters and such getting their drinks for them. The open bar also had a bit of help with that.

"Anything the matter, sis?" Joshua smiled. She rocked back and forth on her Mary Jane's, bright eyes glancing continuously back towards their parents.

She drew in a sharp breath before meeting his gaze. "I'm not a girl."

There was a pause.

"Hm?"

"I'm…" She (or was it he?) began fiddling with the hem of her skirt, "I'm a boy. The name's Neku. I-I'm sorry for leading you on like this." He shifted in his shoes, and began to twirl some of his curled hair around a finger. "I feel more… comfortable in women's clothes." He met Joshua's gaze worriedly, eyes wide and panicked. "I'm sorry, Joshua. But I couldn't.. couldn't…"

Joshua grinned at Neku's nervousness. He took a step closer to his darling little brother, and tilted his head towards his own. "No worries my dear." Neku's flush came back with a vengeance, Joshua chuckling once more. "I still like you just as inappropriately as before." Neku's gaped like a fish as Joshua kissed the tip of his nose.

"But… we're siblings now. Brothers."

"Yes, but only by law, little Neku."

The family began to disperse as the twelfth hour chimed, their parents wishing everyone a fond farewell before leaving to get ready for their honeymoon. Joshua played the perfect host, accepting the rest of his parents' gifts and escorting everyone out to their cars. By two, Joshua and Neku stood outside the hall, gazing upward at the small amount of stars found in the city.

Neku had run his hands through his hair, undoing many of the curls and had wiped the small amount of makeup off his face. Joshua's tie was completely undone and a few of the buttons of his shirt were left open. The two shared a look, Neku's more of curiosity and wonder and Joshua's was something of debauchery. "Ready to go home little brother?"

"Why don't I feel the familial love that should be behind such a statement?"

"Because my love is anything but familial."


	8. 82: Can You Hear Me?

The small student stared up at his teacher with wide eyes. It was the first time anyone outside his parents had bothered to attempt to communicate with him in sign language. His preschool teacher looked like he could be one of his older cousins, not a teacher of all things.

The man's bright ashy hair was pulled into a low ponytail, and his bright purple eyes were filled with warmth as he attempted to communicate with him. It brought a smile to the six-year-old's face. The gestures were a bit off, but Neku was pretty sure the teacher meant to introduce himself. Finally Neku was able to make out a name, 'Kiryu'. Neku quickly spelt out his name and the teacher ruffled his hair playfully.

Neku had been told that his mom and dad couldn't afford to play for Neku to go to a school for the Deaf and Blind, so he was stuck being sent to the general public school. This meant he wouldn't learn any words and phrases in sign language, but he would be able to go to class and learn history and such like everyone else. He could probably take home all his schoolwork and find out the gestures for the different words later. His parents hoped to get a tutor eventually, and the tutor could help him with his signing, while possibly this Kiryu teacher would teach him everything else.

The redheaded boy fiddled with his bangs and met Mr. Kiryu's gaze with a blush. This year was probably going to be the best ever.

-.-.-.-.-

So quickly the school year went by, and Neku was dreading leaving his dear Mr. Kiryu behind. He liked Mr. Kiryu, he was kind, gentle, and always knew how to explain something for everyone to understand. Sometimes Neku had the feeling Mr. Kiryu could read their mind, like some sort of magician. He always knew what they were going to ask beforehand. He was always ready for any questions they threw at him.

Neku glanced at the dry erase board Mr. Kiryu had bought just for him. Any time he had a question he could write it on the board and Mr. Kiryu would answer it. It was helpful for both of them, because Mr. Kiryu didn't have to worry about translating the signs, Neku didn't have to worry about Mr. Kiryu misinterpreting it, and all questions were easily answered.

And sometimes Mr. Kiryu would surprise him, admitting he had gone home and researched different gestures and common phrases, hoping he could assist Neku in learning the signs.

Every time Mr. Kiryu would wander over in-between lessons and show him a new gesture, or learn one from Neku, the little boy would blush so brightly, and he would advert his gaze.

He knew he liked Mr. Kiryu. The teacher would cause a fluttering feeling in his stomach and made him feel like he was really special when Mr. Kiryu would check on him. Part of Neku knew it was probably just because Neku couldn't call out if he needed help like everyone else, that he couldn't talk like everyone else. And the thought of it made Neku want to curl into a ball.

-.-.-.-.-

Neku sat on a bench during physical education, watching as everyone else played four square, or hopscotch. No one really bothered to play with him, because he couldn't communicate with them without his dry erase board. He knew all the rules to the games, and it wasn't like he was physically incapable of playing it. They just didn't want to ask the kid who had to carry a board with him everywhere to talk to him. All because they couldn't hear his voice. It was times like these that Neku truly wished he wasn't mute.

Mr. Kiryu sat beside him, a small smile on his lips as he scooted a bit closer to the student. "Don't want to play Neku?" The boy shook his head. "Any reason why?" Neku quickly began explaining in sign language, knowing Mr. Kiryu could only catch certain words like: "can't", "talk", "interfere". Mr. Kiryu let loose a giggle, the sound erupting butterflies in Neku's stomach once more. "Silly little Neku."

Mr. Kiryu stretched slightly, glancing at a watch on his left arm. "We have plenty of time before recess is over." He then pulled out a dictionary, particularly a dictionary specifically for sign language. Neku felt his eyes go wide and he immediately moved as close to Mr. Kiryu as possible. The teacher grinned and handed it to him.

Neku ran his hands over the cover in awe, running his tiny fingers over the bindings and the engraved words. When the student looked up at the teacher, Mr. Kiryu ruffled Neku's hair, a habit he was forming whenever the student was nearby. "Neku, we don't have much longer until the school year is over. So I decided that I'd give you this dictionary." He reached around Neku, flipping the cover page open to where he had written "Yoshiya Kiryu" followed by different ways to contact him. "I doubt any other teacher will be wanting to help you with signing. So just email me, little Neku, and I'll figure out a time we can always meet up."

Neku placed the dictionary to the side and wrapped his tiny arms around Mr. Kiryu's waist. There was a small pause, and Mr. Kiryu was quick to return the hug. Neku had a huge blush on his face, but he knew he would never feel this happy again unless Mr. Kiryu started to hug him all the time too.

Neku reluctantly pulled away, gesturing "Thank You", and Mr. Kiryu responded. Neku returned to sitting beside his teacher, but at a much closer distance than before. He pulled up his dry erase board and pulled out a purple marker from his pocket. He liked this color better than the other colors the package of markers had given him.

/Do you think I'll ever have friends?/

Mr. Kiryu nodded, "Of course Neku. How anyone decides they don't want to be your friend is beyond me."

/Do you think I'll ever hear my own voice?/

Mr. Kiryu paused in responding, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "I don't know if you'll ever hear your voice Neku. I'm not sure that kind of technology exists." Neku slumped over slightly, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. His teacher wrapped an arm around him, practically pulling the boy into his lap. "Even if you never hear your voice Neku, I can guarantee that the person who loves you can hear you. They know how you sound, they know how melodic your voice can be.

"You don't need to hear it to know how wonderful you really are." He pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, giving a small hum.

Neku pulled his board and his new dictionary onto his lap, hugging them close, reveling in the feel of his teacher's arms wrapped around him.

-.-.-.-.-

The rest of the school year flew right past like a dream, and after three more years in public school the Sakuraba family was able to afford Neku's tuition into a school tailored specifically to his needs. Neku was able to practice his sign language and use it, he was able to make friends and play games with everyone else. And how quickly time would pass. Before Neku knew it, he was sixteen, in high school, with more friends then he'd ever imagined and the memory of his first crush on his mind.

Every day he'd return home, sit on his bed, and pull a specific dictionary onto his lap. He would go through and look at the different words and gestures. He'd stare at that first page, listed with all the different emails and phone numbers for his favorite teacher and reach for his cell phone. He'd dial a certain cell number, press call and would hang up half way through the first ring. Sometimes he'd dare to let it ring until someone would answer, or the voicemail would click in. When that happened he'd listen to that voice on the other line, and would remember his first year in school.

And when he'd let the voicemail start recording, he'd wonder if Mr. Kiryu, no, if Yoshiya could hear him and all the words he wanted to say.


	9. 55: Waiting

It wasn't often that Neku Sakuraba craved for caffeine in concentrated doses. Typically he enjoyed just sipping some iced tea occasionally, or even a soda if he was extremely desperate. But today, his body was just screaming for coffee, with shots of espresso, enough to overpower the flavor of the sweetened drink the average chain store would give. The college student stretched his hands high above his spiked hair, adjusted his huge earphones and began the search for a coffee shop.

Avoiding the chain stores and the groups of college and high school students wandering about in the winter air, Neku found himself wandering onto a slightly abandoned street. Snow had piled onto everything, and it appeared as though the city didn't even bother with shoveling the roads and salting it. Hidden behind an overly large street sign, advertising something all the way on Udagawa was a small coffee shop called WildKat. It looked quaint, very quiet, and it appeared only the two people running the store were inside.

Neku stepped inside, and as soon as the door was closed behind him, he was untying the scarf around his neck and pulling off his gloves. It was set up almost like an ice cream parlor-or what Neku envisioned one to look like-with the checkered floors, the booths around the edges, the bar with elevated stools... The only thing really lacking was the bright colors or the cheerful music. When Neku lowered the volume on his headphones, he could hear the melancholic tune playing in the shop while the two employees were wiping down coffee cups.

The college student sat at the bar, placing his scarf and gloves on the bar stool beside him and rubbed his hands together. Even indoors it was quite chilly. Out of the two employees, the younger of the two with ash-blond hair practically strutted over and leaned inside Neku's personal space. The other employee seemed to choke on his spit (or was attempting to hide his laughter) as Neku leaned away from the barista with a raised eyebrow.

"What can I get you, dear?" This question was followed by a feminine giggle that had Neku glancing over at the other guy questioningly.

Neku shrugged. "I need caffeine, preferably in a large quantity." The ash-haired employee nodded, immediately grabbing the coffee and a few other things to begin mixing him a drink, giggling to himself. The other employee shook his head, humming along with the piano playing over the speakers.

The college student heaved a sigh, slipping out of his over coat and slumped somewhat against the bar. The heat in the room was finally getting to him, and it was making him tired. But all he wanted was his coffee, and then he could step back out into the freezing cold winter and head back home after a long day of classes. The longer Neku sat, waiting for the cup of concentrated caffeine, the longer he had the urge to take a nap.

There was a jingling, and the cafe door opened, admitting a gaggle of girls. All of which took one look towards the ashy-haired man before giggling. The barista paused in making Neku's drink, whipping around and glaring at the group of girls as if they were hell spawn. He flipped some of his hair over his shoulder and crossed his arms. "Yes, you are here, I see you, what the hell do you want?" The girls paused and even Neku paused in his relaxing thoughts at the hard edge lining the guy's voice.

Some of the girls looked as if they were immediately going to burst into tears, the other's glaring as if immediately pegging him as completely rude. The other barista chuckled, "Come now Joshua. These girls are our favorite customers. You could stand to be a bit nicer to them."

The younger barista, the one Neku now knew as Joshua, scoffed and went back to Neku's drink. "You deal with them Sanae. I can't stand them." He flipped his hair once again. Neku glanced back at the girls, not seeing anything really wrong with them. Maybe a bit too focused on keeping up with the current fashions, judging by their attempts to maintain a look of cute and hip.

Then one of the girls giggled again, and Neku noticed the way the Joshua tensed up, as if wanting to chuck something in their general direction. Joshua did not care for their giggling... that made Neku curious as to why Joshua hated it so much. The girls finally made their way to the bar, ordering something they called 'just normal coffee', to which Sanae laughed (in an obnoxious booming voice) and quickly poured them a couple of cups. Neku briefly wondered why their coffee was so quick whereas Neku's was taking so fricken long.

Joshua finally nodded, as if pleased with whatever concoction he had made, and poured Neku an abnormally large glass of coffee, placing it in front of Neku on a coaster. Neku brought the coffee cup closer, and Joshua leaned against the bar, resting his head in his hand and watched Neku take a drink with a leisurely smile. Neku nervously took a sip of the steaming cup of coffee before closing his eyes in bliss. This had to be the best cup of coffee he had ever tasted.

Joshua giggled effeminately once more, and Neku quickly realized it was the way he giggled that the girls were making fun of. But he quickly forgot about how offended he almost felt in place of Joshua when he took another drink of his coffee. He placed the cup on the coaster and couldn't help the small smile he had on his face as the caffeine craving disappeared.

While the girls remained in the cafe, Joshua stayed near Neku, as if worried the girls would take advantage of his being alone. Neku was unbothered, as long as the guy let him drink his coffee, he had no issues with the man. At one point, Joshua even ignored the idea of personal space and ran a hand through Neku's hair. The college student was so wrapped up in his coffee he really couldn't care less.

Finally the girls finished their drinks and waved to Joshua. "See you next time," they twittered. Joshua shot them a glare, Sanae laughing obnoxiously and waved back. As the door shut behind them, Joshua muttered under his breath, "Hope you get hit by a bus." which caused Neku to practically do a spit take and for Sanae to admonish his coworker. Neku chuckled behind the brim of his cup as Joshua and Sanae debated the finer points of being kind or rude to customers and why those particular females weren't worth the niceties.

When Neku stared at the bottom of his coffee cup almost longingly, Joshua giggled once more and pulled it from his grasp. "Let me pour you another one."

"Will it take as long as last time?"

Joshua gave a giggle and immediately placed a new cup in front of him. Neku almost stared at him in awe. Joshua gave another giggle before walking around the bar. He sat beside Neku and began twirling a strand of hair around his fingers. "I was wondering if I could ask you a favor...?"

Neku raised an eyebrow, not really caring one way or another. The coffee was too damn good for him to care at the moment. Joshua nodded, as if expecting Neku's nonchalance. "Every day after work that group of girls tries to follow me home. A bunch of stalkers if you ask me." He heaved a dramatic sigh and glanced over at Sanae. "Sanae thinks they are just playing around, but I know they're up to no good. Would you mind walking me back to my place? I'd appreciate it, especially if the girls don't follow me home tonight."

Neku paused mid-sip before putting the cup of coffee down. The words were out of his mouth before he realized it, "What's in it for me?"

"Well," Joshua drawled, humming along to the suddenly cheery music playing in the cafe. Both glanced at Sanae, who was currently messing with the stereo system, attempting to appear like he wasn't listening in on the conversation. "You walk me home every day after work, and all the coffee you drink will be on the house." Neku tried to ignore the way Sanae seemed choke a little from hearing that particular phrase.

"Everyday?"

"Except Sundays and Tuesdays."

Neku took another sip of his drink and couldn't believe he was actually contemplating this. He barely knew the guy, and yet here he was asking Neku for his help. The college student met Joshua's eyes and took another sip of his drink. "You give me another cup of whatever the heck this is and you have a deal."

The smile Joshua gave him was practically blinding. Sure it meant waiting, tons and tons of waiting, but he would get free coffee and possibly even a friend out of it. Neku couldn't have asked for a better day. The barista practically hopped over the bar, poured him a drink to go and began getting suited up for the cold weather outside. Joshua's jacket was something Neku thought was completely fluff, all faux fur and no actual substance to it to keep him warm.

Neku finished up the bit of coffee in the cup before pulling on his jacket and gloves. As he pulled those on, Joshua grabbed Neku's scarf and began the process of tying it around Neku's neck and tucking the ends underneath the zipper of his jacket. Once Neku was all readied up, coffee in hand, he adjusted his headphones, something Joshua giggled at, and opened the cafe door. Just outside, as the snow was slowly beginning to fall once again, stood the group of girls all gathered around the sign for Udagawa. Neku rolled his eyes and led Joshua around the group. The girls stopped chatting and watched as the two boys walked past, standing all close together for warmth.

Joshua seemed to press closer to Neku, once again acting as if just being nearby would help keep the girls away. Neku allowed the barista to cling close, surprised at the amount of warmth the jacket of fluff was actually giving off. Neku grabbed his mp3 player and turned up the music, just enough for a bit of background music. Joshua peeked at the screen, humming at the song title before practically humming along with the tune he couldn't hear.

As they walked the streets of Shibuya, the girls stayed a safe distance behind. Each turn the two made, the girls were not far behind. Neku finally stopped Joshua when they were at the Scramble Crossing, surrounded by hundreds of miscellaneous people that would easily help hide the duo from the girls. Neku pulled Joshua off to the side, close to the street one would take to head to 104.

"Let's pass through some shops, just to be sure we lose the girls." He glanced back towards where they came from, spotting one of the taller girl's hair in the crowds. "We might have to get more creative as the time goes on, but eventually they should give up." Joshua nodded, still humming to the tune playing in Neku's ears.

"It'll take some waiting occasionally," the barista smiled, linking arms with Neku.

The college student shrugged. "I'll be doing plenty of that anyway. As long as you don't mind me doing school work at the cafe."

"Not at all." Joshua tugged on Neku's earphones, changing the tune on the mp3 player. Neku rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee and letting his annoyance slip away. And there was no need to get all uppity, it was a good song. Joshua glanced about, leading Neku farther inside the street. "Want to waste some time?" Neku gave a curious look. "We could always go and uh... find a corner?"

Neku choked slightly on his coffee, trying to ignore the way his face undoubtedly turned bright red at Joshua's suggestion. "How about next time?" Joshua's answering smirk was enough to make Neku second guess his response. Something told him the barista was definitely going to hold him to it. Oh well, if Neku had to wait a lot, Joshua could do the same.


	10. 48: Childhood

Neku stood on a corner in Scramble Crossing, the seven year old's eyes staring at the bright neon lights of the nightlife in Shibuya. He was a Sakuraba, someone looked upon as something not human, at least not according to the rest of his classmates. But that was alright. At least, it was as long as he had the Kiryu kid.

Yoshiya Kiryu was a new student in Neku's class, and because of his odd silvery hair and bright eyes he was called an angel. Something that Neku thought was really funny considering Yoshiya's personality was anything but angelic. The boy was skilled at manipulating the other students into taking the blame for something that Neku or Yoshiya himself would do.

At first Neku was confused on why Yoshiya would use his expert skills in manipulation to assist him of all people, the other outcast in school, but it took a visit to the headmaster's office and Yoshiya's verbal skills convinced Neku that maybe this friendship was something worthwhile.

Thus began a friendship that many teachers and administrators began to dread. No matter what the duo accomplished, no one was able to peg them with any misdeeds. If the sentence was phrased incorrectly, Yoshiya would call attention to that and rearrange the focus of the matter at hand. By the time anyone realized they hadn't accomplished anything, Yoshiya and Neku were already long gone.

Neku sighed, glancing at one of the neon analog clocks nearby, the redhead frowned. The two were supposed to meet over an hour beforehand, and there was no sign of Yoshiya anywhere. Neku fumbled with the cell phone his parents had given him, and looked for Yoshiya's number in his contact list. Spotting it, he clicked call and held it to his ear.

The phone rang a total of seven times before it went to voice mail, where Neku quickly left a voice mail asking where he was and if everything was okay. As he flipped the phone closed, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Neku jumped and turned around quickly, taking a calming breath when he saw his best friend.

"What took you so long, Iya?"

The other boy giggled, pulling Neku into a hug. "Sorry, it took a while to get away from my parents." He pulled away and took one of Neku's hands in his own, leading him towards his favorite ramen shop. "They were trying to get me to explain why I got sent to the headmaster's office again this week." The two chuckled together conspiratorially, and practically skipped to Ramen Don.

Once inside, the owner waved and the two took their favorite booth by the windows, watching the people heading to dance clubs and bars spread all through Shibuya. The two bowls of ramen were set down in front of the two boys and Yoshiya handed over the payment for that week's dinner. As the two slurped down their dinner, Yoshiya kept fumbling with something in his pocket.

Neku noticed it after a little while, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "What's that, Iya?"

"Hmm?"

"In your pocket."

"Oh," Yoshiya pulled out a cd case, the front clear and showing the reflective cd inside. "This was supposed to be a surprise for you later." He fumbled with it some more before sliding it over to Neku, almost nervously. "I finally finished that song I was telling you about. And I wanted to share it, so I burned you a copy."

Neku placed it in one of his pockets, smiling brightly. "Thank you! I'll listen to it as soon as I get home." Yoshiya nodded and the were quiet for the rest of their meal. Afterwards, the two continued to wander around the nightlife of Shibuya, knowing it wasn't safe but unable to help their childish curiosity. The two eventually wandered back to Scramble, holding hands and chatting about the prank they completed earlier that week.

"We haven't thought of our prank for next week, Iya." Neku mentioned thoughtfully, swinging their joined hands back and forth. At this Yoshiya seemed to deflate. "What's the matter?"

"I'm not going to be there next week Neku."

Neku paused before brightening once more. "Oh well, maybe the next week we can do something even bigger. You know? To make up for it!"

Yoshiya let go of Neku's hand, his bright eyes lowered to the ground. "I'm not going back Neku. I can't." Neku reached for Yoshiya's hand, not liking how empty it felt without Yoshiya's in his own. Yoshiya took a step back, shaking his head. "Dad got a transfer. We're moving out of Shibuya this week and I don't know if we're ever coming back."

"You can't leave me!" Neku cried, stepping closer to his friend. "What will I do without you?" He had a hard time resisting the urge to shed tears. "You're my only friend." That word the other students called Yoshiya popped into his mind, and Neku couldn't stop himself from saying it, "My angel, Yoshiya."

The boy smiled brightly, his tears reflecting the neon lights surrounding them. "Yeah, but I can't go against Mom and Dad, Neku. No matter how much I like you."

Neku nodded, shifting from foot to foot. "I understand."

Yoshiya pulled Neku into another hug. "But I gave you that cd. You have to remember me okay? You have to!" Neku nodded and the two boys shared another hug. Part of Neku didn't want to let go, because he knew that when he did he'd never see his best friend again.

"I'll miss you."

"Miss you too Neku!"

Ten years later, and Neku was sitting in his room, cleaning out files and folders, trying to make it easier for himself when it came time to move out and go to university. He came across a pile of old cds, a bunch of them home mixes he made himself when he decided to shut off from the world. But one cd wasn't labeled, and when Neku pulled the disk out of the case, he could remember a little boy with light hair and bright eyes who liked to listen to music as much as he did.

And when Neku placed the cd in the old player nearby, and listened to that song, he once again remembered a time when everything was sunshine and butterflies, and when his whole life revolved around hanging out with that little boy he called Iya.

Close to you I hope to stay, Endlessly from today.


	11. 76: Broken Pieces

When Yoshiya Kiryu first started drinking, no one really knew why. He wasn't the type of guy to go and drown his sorrows in a bottle, nor allow anyone he knows to go down that route. But when Neku found his friend, slumped in the corner of the Dead God's Pad, a plethora of empty beer cans, bottles of alcohol and a tub of margarita mix, he knew things had become serious.

Neku dropped to his friend's side, shoving the empty bottles and cans away to make him a clear spot. Yoshiya just reeked of alcohol, his eyes were blood shot, his hair was mussed as if he spent the seconds between drinks, and once he started talking, he just wouldn' t stop.

"Josh," Neku began scooting closer to his friend hesitantly. He was afraid of that Yoshiya just might upchuck near him. "What's with all the alcohol?"

"N-Neku?" The once elegant Composer slurred, slumping over practically on top of the Proxy. "Whachu doin here...?"

"Checking on you, you idiot." Neku gingerly lifted Yoshiya's head from his shoulder before sliding out from underneath him. Neku stood and grabbed a nearby garbage can, cleaning up Yoshiya's mess. The Composer's head lolled to one side, his eyes fluttering as he watched Neku's blurry form bustle about.

The Composer hummed, tilted his head back and ignored the dull feeling of pain as his head knocked into the wall. He began to rub his eyes, not enjoying the stinging and itchy sensation they were currently giving him. "Any reason why you decided to crash my party?" He heard Neku scoff on the other side of the bar. "I was having so much fun."

Neku peered down at Yoshiya from over the counter, his headphones resting around his neck. "Really? It appears you're completely out of alcohol now." The boy gave a hum. "Which means you have to stock up before you can pull this stunt again."

"Oh come now," the Composer attempted to stand, heavily relying on the counter behind him and the wall nearby. Even while propped up, the guy seemed to sway and stumble slightly. He reached up to rub his eyes once more, and would have hit the ground hard had Neku not been right nearby. "This is my first time drinking in aeons." Neku helped Yoshiya stand up once more and had him lean against the bar for balance. "It's not like I do this frequently or anything."

Neku just hummed and nodded in agreement while he continued to clean up Yoshiya's mess.

"You see, Sanae decided he needed some extra bottles and such for his next project." Yoshiya would have smirked when he noticed Neku paused in cleaning up had he had better motor functions. "So I decided to help out."

"Couldn't you just," Neku made some odd hand gesture, "magic away the alcohol?"

"But that's some good alcohol right there," Yoshiya appeared to be pointing in the direction of some empty Grey Goose bottles. "I couldn't let it go to waste."

Neku couldn't help the smile cross his face at how predictable Yoshiya seemed to be at the moment. "Then couldn't you have at least gotten some assistance? Surely the thirty some odd bottles of alcohol was a bit much for your mortal form."

"Nonsense!" Yoshiya waved a hand about lazily, slowly tilting to the side the more he spoke to Neku. "This body has taken so much crap, I doubt the thirty bottles would affect it at all." Yoshiya slipped and fell to the floor with a thud, a small "ow" following.

Neku shrugged continuing to gather up the mess. He'd already filled one garbage bag and was halfway through his second. He made his way back to Yoshiya's side, chuckling at the image Yoshiya made. The Composer's hair was spread about him like a halo, and the positioning of his arms was like he was caught in the middle of making a snow angel. "You know I can't take you seriously drunk, right?"

Yoshiya giggled, the sound lilting oddly in his drunken state. "You take me seriously all the time... you need a break occasionally."

Neku rolled his eyes, giving a mock bow. "I appreciate your kindness, dear Composer." The Composer giggled again, grabbing a Grey Goose bottle and made a noise of happiness.

"Oooo, this one isn't completely empty yet." He was quick to bring it close to his chest, and practically hugged it, miraculously somehow not spilling it whatsoever in his dramatic movements.

"Josh," Neku dropped the garbage bag he was lugging around and knelt beside the Composer. He reached for the bottle and scowled when he realized Yoshiya wasn't exactly going to let him take it from him easily. "Hand it over, Mister Composer."

"I dun wanna." The Composer's eyes were not as bloodshot anymore, but they still had the look of one completely trashed.

"Josh."

"Neku~"

The proxy growled and tried to tug the bottle of vodka from his grip, unsuccessful in his efforts. Yoshiya laughed almost hysterically at the glare he received from Neku, the sound unsettling because Neku wasn't sure is he ever heard Joshua laugh before.

The Composer calmed down with a happy sigh, no longer appearing as smashed as earlier. "I don't think I could have picked a better proxy, my dear." Neku raised an eyebrow in response. "Who else would have stuck with me all these years?"

"Joshua, I've only known you for maybe a few months."

The Composer waved away Neku's comment again, his purple eyes no longer bloodshot, but he was still reluctant to give away the bottle of vodka. "That's beside the point, Neku." He gave another sigh and pulled Neku down beside him. Reluctantly the proxy laid on the tiled floor, staring up at the roof, still holding onto the vodka bottle alongside Yoshiya. "I just know..."

"You just... know." Neku closed his eyes, trying to ignore the chiming of the grandfather clock in the corner. He didn't want to know he'd been here for three hours already. He didn't want to know by Yoshiya's comment of just knowing...

Yoshiya sat up and leaned over Neku, resting his forehead against Neku's. "I just know. Just like how I just know you came here to check on me instead of going to Shiki's birthday party. Just like I know you told your parents you were going over to Beat's to work on a project." He nuzzled Neku, ignoring the way the younger squeaked and tensed up in a combination of embarrassment and anger.

"Yeah, well..." Neku really couldn't come up with a response, his silence only encouraging Yoshiya to smile brightly.

The Composer sat up, surprisingly not taking the opportunity to kiss his proxy or do anything remotely sexual. He was drunk, he could have easily blamed it on lowered inhibitions. Yoshiya stood up and offered Neku a hand up, still clutching that bottle of vodka. Neku took his hand and offered the older a small smile.

Yoshiya took a swig from the bottle, winking at Neku before pressing a kiss to his cheek. The proxy flushed brightly and shoved Yoshiya away, his embarrassment causing Joshua to jar the bottle against the side of the bar and the glass to shatter. The broken pieces littered the floor around their feet, a vodka puddle forming and Neku just sighed.

Yoshiya laughed once again, tugging Neku into a hug and nuzzling his neck. The proxy just sighed and returned the hug, enjoying the warmth the dead boy somehow gave off. "Guess Sanae is not getting that bottle."


	12. 17: Blood

As was dictated by vampire creed, a blood slave was expected to be up and moving just before sunset, as so their vampire master wouldn't have to go searching for and wake their slaves; blood tended to be thicker and harder to digest when the donor was asleep. Some vampires tended to prefer the thicker blood, but Neku's master much preferred the lighter, sweeter blood that came from one being wide awake.

Neku dressed just as the bottom half of the sun disappeared beneath the mountains, freshening up quickly in the shower, before styling his hair in spikes, his master liked the style because it kept his hair away from his neck, offering easy access. Just as the sun finished disappearing behind the mountain, Neku stood just inside the doorway of his master's room, where the coffin filled with sand from his master's homeland rested.

The slave lowered his eyes to the ground, keeping his hands behind his back as he heard the telltale sound of the coffin lid sliding open. He took a calming breath, unable to help the way his heart rate was highly accelerated. He always got butterflies in his stomach from the thought of his master drinking from him.

"Dear Nekky," his master's voice washed over him in a wave of warmth and he was unable to help the chill that rushed through him and the goosebumps that raised on his limbs. "Are you well rested?"

Neku nodded, his gaze still lowered. "Yes my master." Neku could almost feel the smile on his master's face at that response. He had been told when we was young that his master's happiness would dictate his own, but never had he thought that it would carry over like this. His master was everything to him.

"Good little Neku," the vampire purred, circling Neku to survey his form. He tended to do this occasionally, just to be sure Neku was being honest. Once the vampire had been able to notice Neku wasn't feeling completely perfect, and called Neku out on it, resulting in the vampire having to feed from someone else. Neku had been nine at the time, and had never felt so disappointed in himself as he had that night. "You know how happy it makes me to know you are happy."

Neku tilted his head to the side, sensing his master closer than before. And as if hearing some unspoken cue, he felt the cold breath of his master brush against the side of his neck. His body subconsciously tensed, even though after feeding his master every day for the past eleven years made it so he no longer felt any pain. Neku always blamed it on the natural programming in the human mind, the fear of dying.

The vampire giggled, the sound causing a smile to cross Neku's lips and a small chuckle of his own escaped. Ice cold arms wrapped around his waist, and hair tickled his shoulder. "Do you know why I like your blood, my dear servant?"

"No, my master." Neku relaxed into his master's hold, finding comfort in the cold embrace.

The vampire giggled again, nuzzling Neku's neck and kissing the spot on his neck just about Neku's pulse. "You see, when I was just a little vampire lord, I liked to wander from town to town." He kissed the spot once again. "And then one day, I saw this farm of blood servants, all of them younger than the age of ten. Typically it isn't recommended for us to take a slave below the age of fifteen, but something about this one little boy just called to me." He gave a sigh, the cold breath sending a shiver through his slave. "And when I finally got to taste that blood, I thought I finally found heaven."

"My master is too kind."

"Quite often," the vampire kissed the spot once again before spreading his lips and allowing the fangs to peek out from his teeth. Neku took a deep breath just before the fangs pierced his skin. Neku exhaled and took another shaky breath as the feeling of his blood being sucked from the wound overtook his form. He gripped his master's arms, trying to maintain standing as weakness overtook his body.

"M-master," Neku gasped, eyes shooting wide open when he felt his master bite a little harder, digging his teeth in deeper. The vampire moaned happily as the taste of his favorite blood rushed into his mouth at a quicker rate then before. He could feel Neku's grip tightening to a strength that mortals would cringe at, but he continued to drink.

Neku's sight turned blurry, and his grip began to falter, but his master let up on the drinking with a pleased sigh. "Thank you my dear," he purred once again, making Neku wonder if vampires had relations to cats in his blurred mind. "You can sleep now. I'll be sure there's food waiting for you when you wake."

"Thank you, master." The vampire carried Neku like one would an infant, kissing the crown of Neku's head with blood stained lips.

"You're welcome my dear."


	13. 10: Breathe Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Alternate Universe, takes aspects from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and information about Veelas and their mates, boylove, Veela!Yoshiya, clueless!mate!Neku, age difference (17/13), dom!Josh/sub!Neku

Neku felt a brief moment of fear when the veela pushed him so that he was jammed against the wall. "Josh..."

"You are mine," the veela ground out. "You are my mate."

The veela's words were unexpected. It was typically Neku questioning if the relationship was nothing but a dream.

"No one can change that fact," Neku whispered, raising his hands and fisting it in Yoshiya's shirt. "I'm your mate, dominant. But, I am my own person too and I have my own family. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but this is my stance. It doesn't mean I love you any less."

The veela did not respond immediately. Instead, he lowered his head until their foreheads were pressed together, and Neku could feel his warm breath wafting over his skin in a soft caress. The young boy flexed his fingers, the movement seeming to finally draw words from his mate. "Only I can hold you like this. You seek comfort from me, no one else."

So that was the issue, Neku finally realized. His mate was jealous, jealous of the fact that another had managed to provide peace for him, no matter how temporary it was. Members of the family were all right, but an intruder was another story.

"I'll come to you next time," Neku promised, looking up into the dark eyes mere centimeters from his.

"Why?" the veela demanded, pressing closer to him. Neku hadn't noticed until now just how much taller Yoshiya was, and how dwarfed he seemed in the creature's presence. Despite that, he could feel the comfort washing over him and relaxed into the embrace.

"You're my mate," the boy responded, shifting slightly. "I turn to you."

He had said the right thing, for all at once the veela's expression cleared considerably. However, Neku was not given long to peruse the change, for an instant later his lips were claimed. He jumped at the suddenness of the move before relaxing completely in the grip. Kissing his mate was always an experience, but this was something else entirely. His veela was pouring out his feelings to him even as their lips brushed each other, and Neku found his breath hitching as the feelings bombarded him, both through their bond and the physical contact.

The veela pulled back, allowing them to breathe and Neku opened eyes he was not even aware had been closed. His entire body was trembling from the long denied affection. It was only now that Neku felt the strain on their bond, recognizing that it had been almost a day since they had interacted with each other with anything other than anger. In his mind he knew there were still issues to be resolved, however, the emotions pouring through their bond was too great, reminding him that he belonged first to his veela and then to anyone else.

"Dominant," he mewled, his tone conveying his thoughts.

The veela growled slightly before his head bent once again, claiming Neku's lips in another kiss that was as passionate as the first. When Yoshiya pulled back this time, Neku felt as if every nerve in his body had awakened. He knew his cheeks had to be flushed, and his breathing was ragged as if he had run a mile. His dominant as well was affected. His expression was softer now, more affectionate as if he too found their previous anger at each other too cumbersome to recall at the moment.

"I love you," Neku found himself murmuring, and was rewarded with a briefer kiss.

"I know you do," the veela replied, raising a hand and stroking his cheek softly. "However, I don't think you love me in the same way that I love you... not anymore at least."

The fingers stroking his cheek were distracting him from his mate's words, and thus, Neku made a confused sound, not willing to try and figure out exactly what his mate had just stated.

"It's all right," Yoshiya cooed, pecking his slightly swollen lips gently. "You'll learn with time. For now, remember one thing for me?"

"Anything."

Yoshiya's eyes darkened at his immediate compliance. "Remember that while you love me, I am in love with you and I will protect you as such."

"You're in love with me?" Neku repeated with a hint of confusion.

"That I am Neku Sakuraba," the veela whispered, "that I am."

That said the veela withdrew completely, and suddenly the room felt several degrees cooler without his body pressed close to him. Neku felt the room close in on him, as if he was stuck inside some room with no way out. He heard his blood pump through his ears, his breath coming to him in pants.

Just as his eyesight was beginning to go dark and his heartbeat wouldn't slow down, he felt those arms wrap around his waist once more, his face pressed into the curve of a neck. Soft cooing slowing became noticeable in his ears, and the thrumming disappeared. When Neku slumped into the hold he could feel his veela chuckle. "Neku, you're supposed to help me breathe, not the other way around."

"Sorry." Neku practically wheezed, nuzzling the neck. "Didn't realize I needed you to help me breathe again."

The veela chuckled again before lifting him up, carrying him to a nearby love seat and setting him down. Yoshiya sat beside him on the ground, running his fingers through Neku's hair. With his veela by his side, Neku slipped into sleep, knowing as long as he was around, he'd be safe.


	14. 92: All That I Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sexual themes, sexual acts, almostnotquitethere!lime, after game, nonsensical plot(?)
> 
> Author's Note: This was a random idea that hit me and I just had to write. If I didn't I think I would have had issues writing anything else. This story is amazing in the spontaneous plot I created and I think I love it. Would love to revisit this world in a future fic or another theme. ALSO, first ever attempt at anything lime/lemony so let me know what you think about it on that front would you? Thanks much!

Neku was raised to believe he was normal, average, nothing special or different in any shape or form. Even after being killed, playing a game of life or death for three weeks and then being resurrected, Neku still felt he was normal, average, nothing special or different - if not a bit emo, but that was expected from him in waves - so he thought nothing of it.

And then his sixteenth birthday came rolling around on the calendar. The night before, his parents removed him from his friends' sides and locked him in the house. Not even an hour before midnight, the two parental units revealed something that stated in all too clear terms that Neku was not normal, not average, and was special and different.

Neku Sakuraba was a succubus.

The soon to be sixteen year old in question stared at his parents in shock. They weren't the type of people to pull a prank of this magnitude, so he could do nothing but believe them. "What?" That is, of course, after a huge wave of dumbfounded questions. "What do you mean I'm a succubus? I'm a boy! Aren't I supposed to be an incubus or something?"

His father shook his head, tutting slightly. "Your great-great-grandmother Lilith would throw a fit if she could hear you now."

"Who?" Even his mother questioned who the woman was, not really a surprise given his mother's history.

His father rolled his eyes at that, all too aware of his wife's forgetfulness. It was a miracle Neku hadn't inherited it. "You don't remember Lilith? The really pretty woman at your fifth birthday party?" Neku's mind briefly reminded him of a woman with golden-brown hair and a curvaceous figure. He remembered her giving him a hug, her touching his ears, his mouth and his hair before giving his parents a nod. "She was coming to confirm that you have the gene. You're a succubus."

"B-but... Mom!" Neku turned toward her, fumbled with his headphones, and placed them on the coffee table nearby and ran a hand through his hair. "Why? Is something horrible supposed to happen on my birthday? Why does it matter now?" She just reached over and patted the top of his head, in what she probably hoped was a soothing manner.

His father continued to explain, "Neku, you were born at 1:01 am. At that time, your body is going to begin to crave energy. Unfortunately for you, we live somewhat in a dead zone, so no random passersby will really help you. You need energy and you'll need it for a while."

"A succubus?" Neku's voice was getting higher pitched, almost as if he was having a hard time breathing.

"Yes, a succubus." His mother crossed her arms and she gave him a stern, motherly glare. "Would you prefer to be called a siren? That is another name for what you are." She smirked, a facial expression that Neku immediately associated with death, destruction, and cross-dressing. "You draw men in with your wiles and feed from them."

"Mom~!" Neku never sounded more like a whiny teenager than now. "Must you?"

She giggled in response. The clocks chimed midnight and Neku knew that things were going to suck even more from now on.

"Do..." The succubus shifted from foot to foot, glancing at the clock every so many seconds, as if asking time to slow down for him, to give him more time. "Do I have to sleep with people?"

"No," his father sighed. "It isn't required however doing so puts less strain on your body. Otherwise you are stuck going to crowded areas and hoping that someone brushes close enough to you to drain them."

"I can't kill anyone, right?"

"You could, but that's only if you focus on feeding from one particular person just by being in contact. That's why we recommend a crowded area. It takes longer but it's easier to drain others without worrying about them dropping dead." His father gave a chuckle. "Why do you think I work where I work?"

Neku couldn't help but concede the point. His father worked on the busiest floor in one of the busiest company's in Tokyo. Even with all his experience and credentials, he remained in a small cubical in a high traffic area. Which following the logic, wouldn't that be unnecessary if his parents procreated more? Neku couldn't help but cringe at the thought.

"So I'm doomed to live off other people's life energy?"

"Pretty much," his father offered a smile despite the morbid conversation. "Look at it this way, you don't have to consume food anymore so that bill will go down." His father continued to explain the mating habits of succubi and incubi, which only left Neku cringing even more. Part of his mind wondered why his parents hadn't just given him this side of the conversation when the first sex talk occurred? Saved him all the trouble.

As 1:01am came closer, his mother urged Neku to dress conservatively and take a walk around Shibuya, hopefully Shibuya would be her usual self and offer tons of souls for Neku to naturally feed from. With no other form of guidance, his parents handed him his charged cell phone and practically threw him out of their residence.

Neku began walking the streets of Shibuya, flipping his cell phone open and closed in nervous habit. His parents didn't even let him keep his headphones, which made wandering some of the darkened streets a bit unnerving to the teenager.

He sighed and headed straight for the Scramble Crossing, the most populated area possible other than the 104 on sale-days. His cell phone beeped with a text message from his parents, wishing him luck as the time struck 1:00am. Neku read the message a second time when the time in the upper left corner of the screen changed.

An overwhelming need rose up deep inside the newly-informed succubus and Neku stumbled into a nearby wall. He panted for breath, clutching his stomach. It felt like his insides were tearing and ripping apart, and Neku could feel his heart freeze in his chest at random intervals. He dropped his cell phone and slid down the wall to the concrete below.

He could hear the sound of ripping, his hands clenched in his shirt so tight he was ripping it under the pressure. He continued to pant for breath, his eyesight beginning to blur and fuzz around the edges. Neku clenched his eyes shut, all sound leaving his senses and terror began to seep into his emotions. Neku lashed out at nothing, only wanting to curl into a fetal position as the want and need and urge after urge to just find food.

A hand gingerly pressed onto Neku's head, as if letting him know someone else was there. Immediately the bit of skin contact flared the want deep in his chest. The fingers threaded through his hair before a second hand joined the first. The hands tilted Neku's face up, the teen's eyes remaining closed. Finger tips traced his cheekbones, his jaw before tilting Neku's head up more.

Neku still took shaky breaths, he couldn't hear anything but the energy flowing into him just by touch felt so good. So warm and welcoming, and Neku wanted more, oh how he wanted more! Breath brushed against his face, and Neku felt himself leaning into it. Lips pressed against his and Neku reacted. His hands let go of his shirt to cling to the one kissing him. His grip tightened and he pressed himself as close as possible, uncurling from the position he had on the ground to being on his knees and arms tangled in the other's shirt.

The succubus opened his mouth, prompting the other to follow and Neku groaned at the energy that flowed from the other person into him directly. As he felt warmth brush against his lips, Neku felt as if he wanted to climb into the other's skin, as even more energy flowed. Did it always taste this good? Why didn't his parents tell him this? The other attempted to pull away and Neku practically wrapped himself around the other, trying to prevent it.

However the other was slightly stronger and the warmth and energy and lips were cut off. As if the volume on the television was being turned up, sound invaded Neku's senses, followed by the smell of something inherently light, almost fluffy in some way. And then, came the sound Neku would recognize anywhere.

A giggle.

His eyes shot open and in the blur of colors a face remained easily recognized. "Josh," he gasped, attempting to reel back but was getting caught in the elaborate knots his hands had weaved in his grip. Neku was quick to realize Joshua's arms were wrapped around his waist, a hand even up the back of his shirt.

"Neku," Joshua nodded, offering a smile. Neku wanted to pull away but waves of energy were filtering into his body via Joshua's hands, and still the need raged deep inside.

"What are you doing here?" Neku continued to squirm somewhat, focusing mostly on trying to get his hands free from Joshua's now slightly ruined shirt.

"Well," Joshua drawled, tugging Neku closer and offering a smile. "I was doing my daily check up on Shibuya and she told me to check up on our Proxy." His smile dropped slightly. "Your music was completely messed up. And then when you kissed me it all made sense."

Neku flushed, still caught in Joshua's clutches.

"Came into your inheritance huh?" Joshua began swaying with Neku, as if trying to lead him into a dance. "I have a solution to that."

The succubus paused in his struggling, looking up at Joshua almost hopefully. "You do?"

"You can feed from me, as often as you need."

"Wait, what?" Neku began struggling again. "No, I could kill you! That's why I gotta get to Scramble, there's bound to be people there. Mom and Dad says it's easier to feed a little bit and -"

Joshua gave another giggle. "Neku, dear, I am directly connected to our Shibuya. I have practically limitless energy at my command. I doubt you could drain me dry."

"But," Neku made a stream of nonsensical noises, finally managing to get his hands untangled before throwing himself far away from Joshua's grip. Immediately something inside Neku screeched in disapproval. "Mom and Dad said I had to take from multiple people. Not just one. I can't, they said, I-" He searched for words and couldn't understand why he was so against it. Joshua did have a logical reason. But what did he get out of it? There had to be a catch. "What do you get out of it anyway? I would be draining you and Shibuya of energy! Isn't that a bad thing?"

Joshua got a thoughtful look on his face. "You do have a point there, dear. What do I get out of it?" A gleam appeared in his eyes and Neku felt a shiver go down his spine, not sure how to read it: perverted or opportunistic... or both. "How about this? You do the paperwork the Game is required to fill out for me, and you can feed whenever you want."

"Uh, no." Neku cringed at the thought of having to fill out forms on dead people. "I'll pass."

Joshua scowled, picking up Neku's cell phone and tossing it to him. "Let me know if you change your mind. Good luck feeding off the tainted energy here." Neku watched as Joshua seemed to faze out, or disappear in the sound of static or white noise.

Neku glanced at his phone, surprised at the time. He closed the flip phone and glanced towards 104 and Scramble Crossing. The need wasn't so great anymore, so maybe he could hold off until tomorrow to feed from others.

Yeah, he thought, glancing at the screen again in what was easily becoming force of habit, he'd try again tomorrow.

\- All That I Have -

Neku stood in Scramble Crossing, his whole body tense and asking for something more. As much as he hated to admit it, Joshua was right. The energy here was just not right. It didn't taste right? If he had to explain it Neku would probably struggle to find the words. It was just not right. His body, his inner succubus as he was beginning to call it, cringed at the feeling of the energy he got from the other teenagers and young adults that crowded the Scramble.

But he refused to go to Joshua. He was going to give it his all, he would survive off the crappy energy if necessary. He had to prove he could survive like this on his own. His parents opened the doors, so he had to make due with what was offered.

Even though what Joshua offered was a thousand times better and wonderful - gave him a tingling feeling in his insides when he thought of it - and was just more. He would survive off this. He would!

Neku wandered through the crowd towards 104, hoping for a sale day of some kind. Maybe the energy would be better? He paused, cringing as he thought about it. More unlikely. Undoubtedly the energy would be worse, all those people fighting over the special offers and trying to save as much money as possible.

He glanced up at the sky, seeing only clouds and the tops of buildings. Did he really want to eat that disgusting energy? Especially when something that was so -

Neku stopped mid-thought. Joshua had to be imprinting on him. Why else would his thoughts be completely focused on that energy Joshua fed him? "Dammit Josh," he cursed, getting a few random passerby's attention. He clenched his fists and mentally vowed he would live off this energy if it was the last thing he did. He would give it his all.

\- All That I Have -

Apparently his all wasn't enough. Neku was clinging to his door frame. The succubus was demanding he'd go to Joshua and agree to his terms, if only to taste that wonderful energy once again. But Neku still refused to cooperate. His mother was in the kitchen, making herself some tasty dinner. It certainly smelled good but unfortunately eating it no longer did anything for Neku.

His mother was now the only human one in the family. Which Neku found ironic, considering she was the weirdest acting out of the three of them. Her memory was horrible and at times Neku even suspected she forgot who he and his father were. He glanced over at her, whistling as she fried something in the pan. "Mom, don't let me go!"

"Neku, love, if your succubus says to go then go." She smiled brightly. "That's how your father found me. Of course he's an incubus so maybe the method behind it is different." She shrugged and went right back to cooking.

"Mom~" Neku whined as another wave of longing hit him.

"Huh?" Her son scowled as once again the occasional memory lapse hit her. She stared down at the frying pan unblinking. "What was I cooking?"

"Mom!"

She snapped her attention back to her son and smiled again. "Oh, I thought you left already. Go, go." She practically shooed him out of the house as black smoke began emitting from the stove. Neku kept glancing back inside, only deciding to head towards Scramble when he heard his mother say something along the lines of, "Oh that shouldn't be smoking."

The succubus glanced at his cell phone, not even flipping it open before finally deciding to follow the urges he had. He turned up the volume on his mp3 layer and stomped his way towards the Shibuya River. He meandered his way through the random crowds, subconsciously reaching his hands out and brushing against the people he passed by. This way he was able to pick up tidbits of energy, but nothing would taste as good as Joshua's.

Under the freeway, past a statue and Neku found himself at the River. He didn't even bother knocking on the invisible wall, just passed right through and stepped into the Dead God's Pad. Neku's eyes rested on the bright, almost invisible, adult form of the Composer. His eyes were that all too familiar purple.

"Ah, Neku," the voice was deep, resonated with something deep inside, and Neku stomped his way up to the most powerful man in Shibuya. When Neku was within arms reach, the Composer changed into the form Neku knew best. "I was wondering how long it'd take for you to show up. I thought -" Neku shoved the Composer onto the stiff leather couch and straddled his hips.

Neku pulled Joshua into a kiss, delighting in the energy that ran through him. This was the energy he craved. He felt Joshua's hands settle on his waist and the Composer-turned-teenager had a delightful little smirk on his face that Neku traced with his tongue. A chuckle was his response, a sound much different than the giggle Neku associated with Joshua, but still welcome as he began snogging the energy out of Joshua, his hands tangled in his hair.

Joshua groaned, his fingers tightening his grip on Neku's waist, pulling him closer. Neku pulled away to get air before tilting his head and resuming to kiss Joshua. He nipped at Josh's bottom lip, almost tugging on it before meeting Joshua's tongue in a dance. Neku kept wanting more, and after three successive kisses Neku moved his attention to Joshua's neck. Joshua gave a noise like a purr, running one hand up the back of Neku's shirt, the other moving to his ass, squeezing it in time with the small suckling Neku was giving his collarbone.

Neku whimpered, his forehead resting against Joshua's chest. "More," he whined.

Joshua didn't remove his hands from Neku, knowing that the more skin contact Neku had the better. He gave a smile, kissing the crown of Neku's head. "Yes, yes, I know." Neku caught the hint of smugness in his voice and scowled.

"Please?" Neku practically grinded his hips against Joshua's, his hands once again in a death grip in Joshua's clothes. At Joshua's gasp, Neku barely pressed his lips to Josh's, eyes half lidded, and asked again, "please?"

Joshua gave Neku a small kiss, a bare brush of lips in comparison to the full-fledged snogging session Neku was attempting to initiate. "Soon Neku."

Neku pulled back, his lips a bright red, eyes still somewhat lidded, clothes all mussed, looking the very image of sexual desire. "What do you mean, soon?"

Joshua gave a very evil smirk, handing Neku what appeared to be a fountain pen. "Take care of ten forms, and I'll give you what you want." Joshua winked at the succubus before fazing out and appearing on the other side of the pad, next to a desk that had a foot high pile of paperwork waiting for him.

Neku's standard scowl appeared more like a pout. "Bitch."

"Paperwork doesn't finish itself Nekky."

"You might if you keep this attitude up." Joshua lost himself in a fit of giggles at Neku's comment, the succubus throwing himself into the office chair. The paperwork wasn't so bad, not in comparison to the payments he received.


	15. 30: Under the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None? Not sure in this one

When the rain came in Shibuya, everyone expected it. It was common for the rain to fall every month of the year, but something about this rain just made Neku Sakuraba so happy. The boy loved sitting in the rain, listening to a specific play list on his mp3 player and watched as the water fell from the sky.

Sometimes the soundtrack focused on piano solos, other times it some heavy screamo death metal, and occasionally it was whatever the heck 777 released for the world to hear. Tonight, it was some Mozart and Chopin, some kind of random techno remix he found wandering the internet. The bright flashing neon lights pulsed in beat with the song, Neku smiling as he wandered the city. Neku couldn't help the silly smile that almost crossed his face as the melodic tune played in time with the rhythm of rain drops pattering on store windows and puddles.

It was like some kind of vacation of sorts. Everyone was much more somber in the rain, the sounds were dimmer, and all the lights seemed to stand out more or added to the image of a sleepy town, even when Shibuya was anything but that.

And then, the battery died.

The Proxy stared at the mp3 player with barely a stutter or a beep to forewarn him on the low battery. Though, he had to admit with a disappointed sigh, with the techno blazing it would be difficult to differentiate between the mp3 player beeping and the song itself. He quickly disconnected the mp3 player and pocketed it, and lowered his headphones to around his neck. The sounds of rain and people shuffling about was a song on its own, and Neku could almost hum along to it.

Sitting at Hachiko, eyes closed and listening to the sounds around him could easily lull him into slumber. Shibuya had never felt so relaxed. And as the sounds of people around him, the rain hitting the ground, blurred into one constant background noise, the light sound of humming entered his senses. It was feminine, too feminine for it to be Shibuya's Composer, and it was light and airy despite the somewhat depressing appearance of the Tokyo Ward.

Neku rolled his head back, eyes closed as the rain turned into a light sprinkle, the humming louder. A hand, the warmth and such reminded Neku of his forgetful but loving mother, ran it's fingers through his hair, brushing out the little bit of gel that remained form that morning. The Proxy smiled, feeling the warmth wrapping around him and a small voice, almost child-like in sound, murmured into his ear something that made his heart warm and his body relax completely.

When Neku was roused from his nap by the continous buzzing of his cell, Neku was greeted with a bright strand of light from the sky. As if Shibuya herself was wishing he'd awake. He stood and stretched, glancing at the numerous missed calls on the cell phone screen, and thanked his dear Shibuya for the wonderful lullaby she hummed to him under the rain.


	16. 50: Breaking the Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: stripper!Neku, little bit more of lime?, horrible stripper name?, MATURE THEMES (reminds herself to look at the rating for this fic, rating might be up-ed!)
> 
> Author's Note: once again, let me know how my lime-abilities are. I'm still a bit awkward about writing these things, but I think I'm getting better

When Neku got into university, he never thought he'd be one of those stereotypical students who couldn't afford to pay for it and would do odds and ends jobs. Even worse was the fact he could only get a job at WildKat, Shibuya's number one strip joint. As a dancer. At first Neku was quiet adverse to the whole dancing thing, he scowled the entire time and never got any farther than taking his shirt off. After almost a year of working three times a week, Neku was warming up to the job. He stopped depending on Mr. Hanekoma to provide outfits to wear and started bringing his own. He started putting on makeup, if only to emphasize particular facial features, and at one point he was convinced to wear high heels on stage.

When he wasn't dancing, he was waiting the tiny tables, delivering drinks and making small talk with the customers. He never accepted any advances and he made it a point to never give a lap dance, no matter how much the guy would tip him. As far as he was concerned, it was a job but he could keep his dignity as well if he damn well pleased.

He stopped spiking his hair, letting it fall around his face and neck, the bright auburn drawing attention to his creamy white skin. He wore darker colors and elaborately designed eyeliner, which only added to the almost inhuman appearance he exuded while at work.

So at the age of twenty, Neku was almost finished with university and his tips had grown to the point of where he could put at least a large bit of it into a secret account (read safe under the dorm bed) until a rainy day.

By this time, Neku's hair fell just below his collar bone, and if he let the girls curl it he appeared more androgynous than before . As much as he hated to admit it, Neku never filled out like the other guys he knew (i.e., fellow classmate Beat) , so he still had the long, somewhat gangly form from his teenage years and when you paired that up with his style of clothing in the club, his hair, makeup and all... the clueless ones were definitely clueless.

The weekend before his twenty-first birthday had Mr. Hanekoma calling him behind the bar and speaking to him privately. "Phones," Mr. Hanekoma liked to refer to the giant purple headphones Neku would wear as he walked into the club every shift. " This Saturday a business associate of mine is visiting WildKat. It will be his twenty-fourth birthday and I need someone I can trust to be serving him."

Neku flicked some bangs out of his eyes, the luminescent blue appeared to be staring right through him. "You do realize it's my birthday too?" He cocked a leather covered hip to the side and crossed his arms. "You want me to serve some dude on /my/ birthday ?" Then came the killer question. "What do I get out of this?"

Mr. Hanekoma faintly lamented the loss of the innocent university freshman that had first some to find a job. That boy would have never done anything like this. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. There was only one thing he could offer that would make Neku agree. "The next four weeks you get paid vacation." He swore he could see the light in Neku's crazy eyes brighten. "But only if you do an exceptional job on serving my partner."

Neku flipped the hair over his shoulder slightly, peeking at the crowd around them. For a Friday night it was pretty dead . He took a glance at one of the new girls on stage, rolling his eyes at how off beat she was. "You let me leave early tonight and I'll be the perfect host tomorrow."

"Deal." Mr. Hanekoma tugged Neku back behind the bar when he went to leave. "No, we need to discuss your outfit."

"I can't just wear my leather pants can I?"

Mr. Hanekoma sighed. " Please dress your best."

Neku chuckled slightly, "A stripper dressing their best. The irony, Mr. H."

"You used to call yourself a dancer, when did this attitude show up?" Mr. Hanekoma didn't bother stopping Neku as he stepped out from behind the bar.

"When it made doing my job easier." He gave Mr. Hanekoma a quick salute and disappeared in the back room to change. He was going to need all the time in the world to be properly attired tomorrow. Neku snuck out the back and darted home, headphones slipping onto his ears and a tune that he knew by heart blaring loudly in his ears.

As on every Saturday, Mr. Hanekoma opened the doors to WildKat at seven in the evening. At seven thirty, his partner stepped in the doors. Yoshiya "Joshua" Kiryu was known for showing up promptly, and every time he was scheduled to visit Mr. Hanekoma would worry himself crazy. And usually the meetings occurred during the week, as Joshua was far too busy even during the weekends to show up at a strip club of all places.

Joshua was dress impeccably as always, in a suit and tie, his hair styled immaculately. He was the one person Mr. Hanekoma felt like insignificant next to. "Hello Sanae," his musical voice was heard over the faint sounds of bass heavy music on low volume. "Good to see you again."

"Happy Birthday, J," Mr. Hanekoma grinned, shaking his hand. He led Joshua over to an elevated table, close to where the dancers tended to focus in the middle of their dances. "I have a dancer assigned specifically to you, but he won't be in until after eight. I hope that doesn't disappoint you."

Joshua giggled, his purple eyes skirting over the design of the club. It reminded Mr. Hanekoma that Joshua hadn't been inside since the conversion of a cafe to a strip club. "No matter, Sanae. I'm sure I can entertain myself for a while." He motioned for Mr. Hanekoma to join him at the table so the two could catch up on times.

As Mr. Hanekoma started talking about the group of new dancers he hired a few weeks back when Neku stepped into the club. His hair was spiked, a first for him at the club in what Mr. Hanekoma would say was in months, and to Mr. Hanekoma's surprise he was in full dancer costume. He wore a black tank top, appeared to be embroidered with tiny red threads. A sleeveless trench coat flowed behind him as he stepped inside and made sure the door shut cleanly behind him. Detachable half sleeves fell partway down his hands and his pants danced around his legs more like a skirt or dress would. As he stepped towards Mr. Hanekoma and Joshua, it was apparent he was wearing platform boots as well.

"Mr. H," Neku greeted before turning those entrancing eyes on Joshua, both men appraising each other. At Mr. Hanekoma clearing his throat, Neku gave an exaggerated bow. "Sir," he nodded. "How may I serve you this evening, all your requests shall be filled my me, unless you prefer someone else."

Joshua nodded, a small smirk rising on his face. "I'm sure that won't be necessary." In response Neku's eyes flashed with anger. Mr. Hanekoma almost brought up their bargain, but Neku's tenseness disappeared with an almost imperceptible sigh . "Would you get me a drink? I'll have vodka with lemon please."

Neku nodded before making his way behind the bar. Mr. Hanekoma stood to assist him, but Joshua waved him back down. Neku brought out Joshua's drink, setting it on the table with barely a sound. Neku glanced towards the neon light clock near the roof and turned to his boss. "Where is everyone else, Mr. H?"

"Ah," Mr. Hanekoma stood and rubbed the back of his neck. "I forgot to tell the DJ and the others they were free to begin whenever. Our bouncer is probably wondering why I haven't permitted anyone to enter." Neku rolled his eyes as Mr. Hanekoma laughed and walked to the front doors.

The business partner offered Neku a smile, "Would you like to sit down?"

"To do so would make me a bad host, sir."

"Please, call me Joshua."

Neku ignored the comment. "Sir, just call for me if you need anything. I need to assist the new dancers in the back." He gave an abbreviated bow and sauntered away, hips swaying, adding a rippling effect in his pants. Neku noted that Joshua probably wished Neku wasn't wearing the trench, so he could get a good view of his ass. He slid into the changing room and was accosted by a few of the dancers.

When Mr. Hanekoma returned, followed by the crowd of customers of varying ages and the DJ, who was quick to man the turn tables and connect everything necessary to start mixing music. A few of the female dancers came out, bumping and grinding against polls as men swarmed the stage and practically fought over seats nearby.

"Sanae," Joshua appeared to be almost pouting, "what's the possibility of getting a lap dance?"

"Very high," Mr. Hanekoma stood beside Joshua so he wouldn't have to speak as loud to be heard. "Most of my dancers love giving lap dances."

"Most?" He appeared intrigued. "Who doesn't like giving lap dances?"

Mr. Hanekoma nervously glanced toward the back room, where Neku just emerged without his trench coat, subconsciously dancing slightly to the beat of the music as he walked to the bar, grabbed the tray with tube shots and began doing some rounds. "Phones tends to turn down requests for lap dances. The entire time he's been hired here, I've never seen him give one." If the volume on the music was lower, Mr. Hanekoma would have sworn he heard Joshua hum in thought.

Joshua took a drink of his vodka as Neku strolled past. The dancer showed him the shots available, "Would you like one, sir?"

He motioned for Neku to come closer, "What do you have?"

Neku began pointing to different ones, naming them off quickly, ranging from 'Astro Pop' to 'Leprechaun Poison' to 'Night Stalker' and 'Pineapple Blood'. Joshua declined and Neku bowed his head, picking up his tray and heading to the next table.

"Is he avoiding me?"

"Very possible, J."

Joshua crossed his arms, huffing slightly before taking another drink of his vodka. "Well, this is displeasing." Mr. Hanekoma sat back down in his seat, nervously glancing around. He usually stood behind the bar all night, so being surrounded by the strobe lights, speakers and half-naked strippers was a bit confusing. He didn't really know what to do with himself. "Why have you never brought Neku up to me before in conversation Sanae? He seems like he has quite the personality."

"Well," Mr. Hanekoma cringed. "I never thought you'd be interested in one of my employees."

Joshua raised an eyebrow as if amused, playing with his glass of vodka and lemon, shaking it slightly so the ice would tink against the surface. The flashing lights of red and blue kept adding different shades of purple to his complexion. "Shows how much you know Sanae." As Neku walked back to the bar with an empty tray, Joshua reached out and grabbed a hold of one of Neku's detachable sleeves. The younger almost shot Joshua a glare, shifting the hold on the tray to another hand.

"Can I help you, sir?"

Joshua grinned, a sight Mr. Hanekoma wasn't quite used to. "How much for a lap dance, dear?"

Neku's luminescent blue eyes narrowed. "Too much for you, /sir/." He pulled his arm out of Joshua's grip, pausing at Mr. Hanekoma's look. Another dancer working as a waitress calmly took the tray from Neku's hand as if nothing was wrong, earning a glare from her co-worker. "I'm sure the other dancers would be more than pleased to dance for you on your birthday, sir."

"But I want you to dance for me." Joshua appeared almost coy as he took a sip of his vodka, staring up at Neku from beneath long lashes.

Neku glanced away, trying to ignore the way his cheeks felt hot at the less than innocuous look Joshua was giving him. He fiddled with his bangs for a second before nodding, "Just this once." As a triumphant grin began to spread across Joshua's visage Neku added on, "You cannot touch me at all. The second you do I have the right to stop the dance and not speak to you the rest of the night. Agreed?"

Joshua didn't look happy about the stipulations but he agreed nonetheless. Neku listened through the throbbing base in the music for a beginning song. His hips began to sway, eyes sliding half-shut as the music seemed to direct Neku's movements. His hands rose to entangle in his hair, mouth opening slightly, giving him this sensual look that had Joshua's eyes narrowing predatorily.

The bass beat seemed to quicken slightly, so Neku's movements quickened, hands sliding down his own body, tracing his hips and down his thighs. He licked his lips and stepped closer to Joshua, close enough to touch but not feeling comfortable just yet. He began to sing along with the song, his voice breathy and almost a sigh. Finally he placed his hands on Joshua, starting at his shoulders before sliding them down Joshua's form. Once he got to Joshua's hips, his hands clawed down his front and scratched at his thighs.

Joshua's hissed slightly, bringing a small smirk to Neku's face as the dancer brought his hands back onto his own body, straddling the business partner pleased. His arms wrapped around Joshua's neck, and as Neku ground slightly into Joshua, trying to hold back his own pleased noises (he was enjoying this far more than he should), he leaned forward slightly and spoke into Joshua's ear, hot breath sending shivers down the twenty-four-year-old's spine.

"No touching," his voice was almost sing-song, and it brought a small smirk to Joshua's lips. Neku continued to move and rock along to the music, eyes sliding closed at how /nice/ it felt. Maybe this was why everyone was always so eager to do lap dances, not the money? His hands slid down Joshua's front again, stopping at his hips before sliding back up and over his arms. He panted for breath and when the hands rested on his hips, it was too late for him to realize those hands weren't his own.

The pianist fingers gripped into the flowy fabric of Neku's pants, yet was gentle enough for Neku to remain 'dancing', after another grind onto Joshua, the twenty-four year old pulled Neku down onto him. Neku gasped for breath, sitting directly on Joshua, now only able to rock back and forth. His head tilted back slightly, a pleased noise escaping his lips and he continued to rock onto Joshua.

Joshua leaned forward, lips brushing against the side of Neku's neck, delighting in the shiver he felt go through Neku. His mouth opened slightly, his tongue slipping out to taste Neku. The stripper's grip around his neck, and his legs practically around Joshua's waist tightened considerably. Neku hummed, still rocking and enjoying the movement so much.

"Dear," Joshua's voice was hazy, and Neku only gave a quick tightening of his grip to let Joshua know he heard him, "Let's move shall we?"

"Hmm?" Neku questioned , a squeak escaping him when he was pulled harder onto Joshua's hips, enjoying how forceful the businessman was being with him.

Joshua's tongue traced Neku's ear, the stripper flinching at the unexpected feeling before cooing slightly, Joshua kissing a spot behind the ear. "I'm not sure your boss expected this to be happening."

As if it was the key word, hearing the word 'boss' had Neku's eyes losing their glazed over appearance, and his rocking against Joshua stopped. He almost numbly stood, hands dropping to his sides and he stepped away from Joshua, trying to ignore the way all his body wanted to return to Joshua's lap with a vengeance.

The twenty-four year old scowled, as if realizing his mistake. He glanced over at his business partner and Neku's boss, almost smiling as he noticed how Mr. Hanekoma refused to even look one bit in their direction, as if expecting the show to continue. Others around them seemed almost disappointed the free soft-core live porn was finished abruptly.

The man stood, not bothering to adjust his messed shirt and pants, undoubtedly not effective at hiding his problem. He grabbed one of Neku's hands, the stripper's eyes back to glazed over and led him to the back room.

Half-dressed and nude- strippers immediately became modest, hiding behind one another and wondering why the gorgeous male was dragging their favorite Neku behind him. Joshua shot a look at the dancers before waving his hand. They stared at him curiously as he pulled Neku into one of the changing stalls. Neku finally came out of his dazed state when Joshua had him pinned against the stall door.

"When did we get back here?"

"Just now."

"Ah, okay," Neku sounded almost pleased that he hadn't missed out on anything.

Joshua pressed himself against Neku, cooing as Neku gasped and arched his back. "What do you make of the situation?"

Neku bit his bottom lip, his body trying to touch as much of Joshua as possible. His hands finally wrapped around the business partner's neck. "Very favorable, sir."

"Good to hear." Joshua's hands traced Neku's sides before resting once more on Neku's hips. "What shall I call you?"

"Hmm," Neku allowed a smile on his face, eyes twinkling. "You've molested me and gone against my rules and the rules of this club and you don't even know my name?" Neku laughed . "My stripper name is..." Neku's face scrunched up slightly as he admitted to the name, "Bunny SparkleSpank", which prompted a few giggles from Joshua, "but you can call me Neku."

"Well, Bunny," Neku's face rearranged itself into a scowl, "how would you like to continue?"

"Continue?" Neku shook his head. "Uh-nuh, dancers are not supposed to put on private shows for the customers, plus I doubt you tip that well to convince me."

"It's my birthday," Joshua pouted, sitting on the small bench provided in the stall (specifically for help with the crazy-high heels the dancers had to wear usually) and pulling Neku onto his lap once more. "Surely that has to earn me something, lovely Bunny."

Neku crossed his arms, eyes still twinkling. "What if I told you it's my birthday as well? Does that cancel yours out?"

Joshua tilted his head to the side, smug grin on his face. "That would just make this your birthday present as well."

"Oh, I'm a present now?"

"Missing the little bow, but yes."

"Is Mr. H aware I'm your present?"

"If he isn't he will be," Joshua seemed to get bored with the conversation and leaned forward, burying his face in Neku's neck and breathing in his scent. "I don't think I'm going to ever give you back."

"I'm not some toy that you can play with until you get bored, Joshua." Neku gripped Joshua's hair, tugging on it lightly to pull him away far enough that he could look into Joshua's eyes.

"Good," he purred, pressing his forehead against Neku's, staring into those makeup-ed eyes. "I think I might keep you forever, lovely Bunny."

Neku rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah." He turned his head away, peeking at him from the corner of his eyes. "Are you going to kiss me or no?"

Joshua's lips spread into a smile, "All you had to do was ask." He grabbed Neku's bottom lip between his own, nibbling on it lightly. Neku nipped at Joshua's top lip, a smile unmistakenable on his face as he drew Joshua's tongue into his lips and sucked. Joshua's arms tugged him closer, his hips rocking up into Neku's.

Groans came from both as they licked, sucked and nipped in their kisses, Neku's hands wandering under Joshua's button up shirt, and Joshua's hips rocking into his own as they moved to their own beat.

One of the business partner's hands slid to Neku's behind, squeezing it and coaxing another pleased noise from the stripper, the other working on removing articles of clothing from Neku's body. When Neku felt the cool air against his arms from his sleeve removal, he pulled his hands off Joshua long enough to strip himself of his tank top before clinging once more to him, whimpering at a particularly hard rock.

"I think," Neku's head was thrown back and eyes particularly wide as Joshua shoved his hand into the front of Neku's pants. He keened, hands flying to Joshua's shoulders to hold himself in place as Joshua deftly moved his hand. Joshua smirked, kissing the curve of Neku's shoulder as he worked him.

"What was that dear?"

A loud whine escaped Neku's lips. Neku's fingers were digging into his skin and Joshua delighted in the feeling, how else other than the noises was he supposed to know Neku was enjoying himself? He chuckled and let up on the frequency a bit. "Hmm?"

Neku spat a curse, trying to climb into Joshua's skin. "You need- ah, ha - some too."

"Oh quite right," Joshua's giggle was husky when he nuzzled Neku's neck again. "But I thought I'd give you your present first." He sped up his movements, pleased with how easy it was to coax Neku into arching his back, using the walls around them to their advantage, so he could kiss and lick Neku's collarbone and chest. Neku's legs wrapped completely around Joshua, tensing and flexing with every little rub Joshua gave him, and the little noises Neku made as he attempted to hold back the sounds were quite delightful too.

In fact, just this and this alone was enough of a birthday present for him. Joshua snuck a glance at the watch on his wrist. Oh he had plenty of time before Neku's birthday was over. He better make use of it.


	17. 22: Mother Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: before!canon(?), take it as you wish
> 
> Author's Note: Had to read some William Blake for my Romantic Literature class, and for some reason the poem used "The Fly" made me think of Joshua, so I had to include it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not William Blake, and I suck at writing poetry, no way it's mine.

Though he had the title of Composer, and liked to flaunt the idea that he had control over every little aspect in Shibuya, Joshua was well aware exactly how powerless he truly was. All he could do is follow the rules set down by his predecessors and hope that when the day came for him to be replaced, his replacement would be just as respectful of the rules and regulations the Angels tossed at him. And maybe his replacement would be just as in love with his Lady as he.

Occasionally, when he liked to step away from the paperwork and laws that he had to constantly oversee, Joshua would allow himself to become completely immersed in the Music of his Lady Shibuya. When he did this, he couldn't help but wonder, exactly what was the Lady's plan for Her world. And poems would recite themselves in his mind, poems he never remembered reading while alive, or poems he wasn't sure existed at the time. But every poem he would recite out loud, as if his Lady was asking him. Why else would She gift him with every line so carefully?

He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, humming to the tune of his Lady and checked on all the little tiny flies bothering his Dear. Many of them were those random few souls of Imagination that would leave Shibuya just as soon as they arrived on the subway, but a few were little souls that his Lady tended to focus all her attention on. These weren't flies, could never be as loathsome or annoying as flies.

As if they were little plants in a garden, the Lady Shibuya tended to the weeds and flowers alike. These plants were Her favorite and blossomed grandly under her command. All except that stubborn weed named Sakuraba Neku. He was once the greatest soul Joshua had ever watched from his Lady's eyes and now, years later he was just as dim and dull as the rest.

His inhuman purple eyes, a gift from his Darling Lady after taking the position of Composer, focused on the horribly large pair of headphones Neku wore and realized the issue. He was blocking out the natural music the Lady gave him, causing his soul to erode. The rose bush was dying, leaving only thorns in its wake. He turned away from the mortal a second, just long enough to confer with his Lady and together they came to a decision.

If this little rose bush/plant/fly would realize exactly all the love and devotion She gave to him, then he would bloom even brighter and more beautiful. However if he turned away, or even dared leave the Lady, Joshua knew he'd hunt the weed down and murder him.

After all, how did that poem go?

"Little Fly  
Thy summers play.  
My thoughtless hand  
Has brush'd away.

Am not I  
A fly like thee?  
Or art not thou  
A man like me?

For I dance  
And drink & sing:  
'Till some blind hand  
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life  
And strength & breath:  
And the want  
Of thought is death;

Then am I  
A happy fly,  
If I live,  
Or if I die."


	18. 31: Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, or geostigma or anythign of that nature. When Tysonkaiexperiment gave me the prompt, Flowers, my brain immediately went to Aerith and this is what occurred. Not beta-ed completely and I'm just wanting to share this so I'mn going to post it as is.
> 
> Warnings: AU/AR, infected!Neku (makes me think zombie but not quite), helpful!invisible!Aerith, kind!flowerlover!Joshua

When the a person became infected by geostigma, there was always a constant throbbing pain in the area. Discoloration, bruising and in severe cases even oozing a black, gelatin-like substance could occur. Neku had the infection all along his right leg, and as days went by without treatment, because treatment didn't exist, the more it darkened and grew up his leg. Neku had to wrap his leg in towels when he slept, otherwise the horrible goo would seep into his makeshift bed. And sometimes it even reeked of decaying flesh. Everyone else Neku had met with geostigma didn't have the decaying flesh smell, so he wondered if his was even the same, or on a different level.

Neku found himself rummaging through the remains of Sector Seven, which had been destroyed back when he wasn't old enough to know Shin-Ra Electric Power wasn't exactly helpful. Back when his father worked for the company, and his mother was home every day cooking meals and keeping him focused on what schooling he could attend. Now those days were gone, as was the makeshift house they used to live in. Sometimes Neku thought he could smell his mother's kitchen, or hear his father would be calling him inside because hanging around Seventh Heaven wasn't the best for a kid his age.

He missed his mother's cooking, his father's meaningless lectures, the odd noises and yelling that would come from the Seventh Heaven bar. He missed playing in the street and coloring on the concrete walls. He missed looking for everything and trying to find a spot of color in the dreary sector. But what he missed the most was that freedom that came with his family, that came without having to think and fend for one's self.

Sighing, Neku estimated the time of day and continued to rummage, hoping to find something he could pawn off for food. Because of the geostigma, no one anywhere near Midgar (or the ruins thereof) wanted to hire him. No one could predict when the ooze would begin, and couldn't stand the smell of dying flesh. Surrounded by the wreckage, Neku was able to forget the smell or wouldn't take notice of how the limb throbbed or if it was oozing at that moment in time.

"Hey," the voice came from behind him, and Neku whirled around on his knees (having been on all fours while searching). It was a boy, maybe around Neku's age, but he was much more well kept. His hair was a shade of gray, maybe a few shades from the legendary Sephiroth's hair, and it curled around his face. Purple eyes peered at him down a pointed nose and arms were crossed in front of his chest. However what drew most of Neku's attention was the fact he was wearing a bright pink shirt and jeans. How in the world did such a bright shade survive in the Slums?

"What?" Neku finally asked, wincing as he climbed to his feet. Already he could feel the substance wishing to climb out of his skin. The leg was even more tender, and Neku had to practically stand on his left leg alone to remove the stabbing pain from his attention.

The boy stepped closer, almost stumbling over a large piece of steel just jutting out of the uneven remains. "You have the stigma?"

Neku didn't bother nodding. It wasn't like he hid it from the world like the rest of the younger children. He walked around in dirtied shorts, his stigma available for the world to see.

Pink stepped even closer, a hand rising to his chin in thought as he took in Neku's form. "We've found a cure for the stigma."

"What?"

"Yeah, a few days ago." Pink managed a small smile, hands dropping back down to his sides. "Would you like me to take you there? Get rid of the stigma?"

Neku crossed his arms, aware of how stupid his positioning was. He wouldn't be able to hold it for much longer before he'd have to use his infected leg, which would eventually just crumble from beneath him for an hour or two before he could move again. "Does it cost money?"

Pink shook his head and held out a hand. "Most of the people infected are homeless orphans. We couldn't stand it if you were charged even though we know you cannot afford it." He glanced down at the hovering leg, eyes narrowing at the goo the dropped to the wreckage. "I doubt you could get a job with how far along your stigma is."

Neku had to admit the idea was very tempting. A cure? For the stigma? He'd have an easier life, not having to wrap his leg every night and able to scavenge much quicker, or even able to get away from Midgar in general. Wouldn't that be nice, to get away from the technological graveyard.

Before he could answer, he felt his left leg weakening. Neku gently placed his right leg down to act as a balance, but the pain was just too much. The red-head collapsed into a heap, gritting his teeth as the black substance forced its way out of the skin. He faintly heard the clicking of a tongue before a hand ran through his messy hair. "Come on, sit up. If you can do that, I can take you to the pool no problem."

"Pool?" Neku questioned, forcing himself up.

Pink nodded and hefted Neku onto his back, carrying him with ease. "No worries, the church isn't that far from here, and if you need a place to stay there's plenty of room." A purple eye glanced at him over a shoulder. " The guy who used to stay there has left it open for us to come and leave as we please. I've taken it upon myself to organize and help find others like you," Neku's grip on Pink's shoulders tightened as the substance beneath the skin once again began to fight its way out.

Neku felt Pink tense slightly, and he couldn't help but apologize, "I don't have control over it. It just does whatever it wants."

"No worries," he placated, a smile apparent in his tone. "I had the same problem with my arm not even three days ago. I'm used to it." He paused as they entered the sector with the church in it. The whole area was filled with homeless children, but instead of the sad, disappointed, hopeless faces Neku was used to seeing, many of them had grins and some were even playing in the more open areas.

A couple of the younger kids flocked to Pink's side, asking if he needed help carrying Neku, or if he wanted anything that they could grab for him. Pink shook his head, but the kids continued to walk alongside him until he entered the church. Neku peered over Pink's shoulder as he was led to a large pool of water. It didn't look any different than any other puddle or the like (other than the fact it was bigger) and maybe the water was a bit clearer, but it looked... normal.

Was that really going to cure him?

Without even lowering Neku off his back, Pink just walked into the pool, until the water was waist high. Neku's legs were already covered in the water, and he could feel a faint bit of tingling, but nothing was different. He was lowered onto a small pew that apparently been put in the pool for something like this. Pink turned around, once he was sure that Neku was able to sit on his own.

"I know it's a little late but," Pink gave a large grin, "I'm Joshua."

"Neku."

Joshua motioned to the infected leg, "Feel any different?"

"It tingles."

Joshua almost laughed at the comment, nodding. "Yes, it is quite an odd sensation isn't it?" He sat beside Neku, apparently totally at ease with the liquid now being about chest height. "You'll probably have to do a few sessions in the pool, considering how infected your leg really is. It took two two-hour sessions for my arm to get working again."

"And the smell?" Neku questioned hesitantly. "Will the smell ever go away?"

"Smell?"

Neku gripped the edge of the pew, his legs just dangling in the water, and he began to sway them from side to side, noticing that even though the liquid appeared to be water, it seemed thicker some how. "No one would hire me because of my geostigma, but also because of the smell of rotting flesh that seems to follow me everywhere."

"Ah," Joshua hummed, waving at a few of the kids who peeked their heads inside the church. "I hadn't noticed." He leaned back, closing his eyes, leaving Neku to stare at him incredulously. "I remember someone mentioning how I smelled a few weeks ago, but I just ignored their comments. People still hired me, so I guess maybe mine wasn't as bad?"

"Or you had a different type of stigma than me."

"Quite possible." Neku found himself scooting closer to the other boy, tugging on a pink sleeve with a soaked hand. The stigma in his leg was flaring, the pain becoming intense.

"What happens if the stigma decides to ooze while I'm in the pool? "

Joshua peered at the infected leg, delicate eyebrows raising. "We're about to find out." The stigma seemed to lash out at its host, Neku's body tensing in pain. If Joshua hadn't been sitting right beside him, Neku probably would have fallen into the pool. Neku hissed as the secretion seemed to burn its way out of his leg, and through the hazy pain he could faintly hear Joshua's voice calling for something before he passed out.

When Neku awoke, he was laying in a flowerbed and a faint tingling still remaining in his leg. Light was flooding in the room from the broken roof, and a faint humming of some song echoing in the banisters. Neku rubbed his eyes and forced himself to sit up. He couldn't remember resting so well as he had, nor could he remember his bed being so comfortable. He glanced at his leg and saw it wrapped in gauze, a faint purple tinge to the bandages, hinting that the stigma wasn't gone.

He sighed and glanced around for the humming voice, spotting Joshua sitting only a few feet away , weaving the flowers into some sort of crown. When Neku shifted in the flower bed, Joshua looked up and gave a smile. "About damn time you woke up, Nekky. I was getting worried."

"The stigma?"

Joshua sighed, placing the almost finished crown to the side. "It appears yours is just as bad, if not worse than what mine was. I've come to the conclusion that you're better off staying here, especially if your geostigma is as rebellious as it seemed." He crawled over to Neku's side, beginning to unwrap the infected leg. "After you passed out, it was as if the stigma was actually alive, and was trying to speed up the process of infection. Luckily, being in the pool was more detrimental to the stigma than anything. " When the gauze was pulled away, the infectino was visibly smaller than before. "Also, I asked a few of the kids nearby to 'smell' you, for lack of a better word, and the stench you said was attributed to the geostigma has lessened in intensity." Joshua threw the used bandages outside the circle of flowers and picked the flower crown back up.

Neku pulled the infected leg towards his chest, running his fingers over the discoloration that only covered from his ankle up to just below his knee. The skin no longer felt as tender and the misshapened bumps that would occasionally form below the skin were missing. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, noticing that as Joshua declared, he no longer stunk as much. "Thank you," he murmured. "I would have never known had you not found me that day."

Joshua shook his head, tying in one last flower and placed it on his head. It just seemed to belong there. "Nonsense, I wouldn't have found you if Aerith hadn't taken me to you."

"Aerith?"

"She was a woman who took care of all the flowers in the church, and would sell them on the streets occasionally." Joshua adjusted the flowers in his hair before grinning widely and starting a second crown. "When she passed away, her spirit sometimes is seen in the church, being helpful and jsut a great listener. She found me, led me here and got me healed. I seemed to be one of the few kids who actually could /hear/ her, so I stayed so I could help her out." Neku watched as Joshua skillfully grabbed flowers and arranged them quickly and easily. "The day I found you, she told me I needed to go for a walk through the remains of sector seven. Otherwise I was going to stay with the kids outside and play some games until someone showed up needing help."

Neku decided to take this in stride. He didn't believe in the dead wandering amongst the living, but he couldn't help but want to believe Joshua. The guy had been nothing but honest with him right from the beginning, why would he be lying now? "I see. So I should thank this Aerith?"

"No worries, she understands if you don't say anything." Joshua reached on the other side of Neku for an abnormally bright pink flower before weaving it into the second crown. "Not even the kids who see her usually say anything."

Neku nodded, and shifted until he was sitting crosslegged. "Know of anywhere I can find a job? Some food?"

"Scavenging seems to be the best bet at this moment, unfortunately traders won't be venturing in the remains of Midgar for another couple days. What food we do have is usually brought to us by Tifa," Joshua's purple eyes gazed at him from over the curve of a crown, "you remember Tifa? She owned Seventh Heaven?" He didn't wait for a response. "She's become the unofficial mother for the children in these parts, so it's really nice when all I have to worry about is myself."

Neku watched as Joshua continued to weave crown after crown, and even though he seemed to be using so many different flowers, when he plucked one three seemed to appear in its place. And he never pulled from the same area twice. His hands were constantly searching out flowers in different ranges from his body, as if guided by some other force. Some of the little girls would wander in and steal the crowns for their own playtime, and Joshua never said a word. Laying back down in the flowers, Neku felt himself slip into sleep until the gentle humming that really couldn't be coming from Joshua seemed to come from everywhere.

After three more treatments and a sound lecture from Joshua on how to be careful on the recovering leg, Neku managed to find himself a job on the very outskirts of Midgar. It was just cleaning and polishing the random bits of materials the store would buy from scavengers in order to make them visible for resell, but it was a job. It was nicer than having to go and dig through only Gaia knew what was in the remains of sector seven, and he was earning money for it. There wasn't anywhere nearby that he could really use it for, but it would help when Neku decided to finally leave.

And every day after work, after sundown, Neku would wander back to the church, back to the flower bed and healing water pool and would sit on a pew near the front and talk with Joshua. Sometimes Joshua would talk about the few people who came in to heal, or about the stories he'd overhear from other travellers. Sometimes he even would talk about Aerith, and what the gentle, loving spirit was up to. And every day, after their long, almost worthless conversations, Joshua would slip a dainty flower into Neku's natural spikes.

Neku usually would ignore the flower until he returned to his horrible half-destroyed home with ripped blankets for a bed and his own hand for a pillow, where he'd pull it out and place it on the ground beside him while he slept. Sometimes he would pull it out before he was even out of the church. And very rarely would Neku bring the flower to his nose and smell it.

But every day after work, he'd return to Joshua's church and spend time with the boy (and possibly Aerith?).

And when it came time for Neku to leave Midgar, with all the money he had saved for the trip, and the skills necessary to stay alive in his wanderings, Joshua was no where to be found. Neku searched all throughout the church, calling out for Joshua, even asking Aerith to please help him find his friend. But Aerith never responded, and Joshua never showed up. Neku closed his eyes and gave himself a hug, knowing that somehow if Joshua was in the church, he would have wanted to give him a hug goodbye. With a soft "farewell" Neku grabbed what items he did own and trekked to the edge of Midgar, in the direction of one of the port cities in hope to go to the other continent.

At the edge of Midgar, where the sun had begun to rise, stood Joshua in his bright pink shirt and jeans, a flower entangled in his hair, and a small pack of supplies on his back. "You didn't think I'd let you leave without me, right?" Neku pulled Joshua into a one-armed hug, delighting in the smell of flowers the boy gave. And as he closed his eyes, relishing in the small hug, he felt one of Joshua's hands rise up and slip somethign into his hair.

And Neku grinned.


	19. 18. Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reappearance of Neku's forgetful mom (an OC) and questioning of sexuality. have fun

****Every Wednesday, Neku's mother would go grocery shopping. And every Wednesday she'd ask either her husband or son to go with her. This week was Neku's turn. He never complained, as it was the one time that he truly got to bond with his forgetful mom, and mostly during the shopping trip she managed to hold onto her memory for a longer period of time.

His mother had a hand on the cart, reading over her shopping list as Neku guided the cart and his mother through the store. She paused, to make sure the gallon of milk hadn't moved before pausing. Her eyes seemed to drift to something and she looked at her son curiously. "Noto?"

"Yes, mom?" He picked a box of instant ramen off a nearby shelf, gazing at it in curiosity.

"Are you homosexual?"

He dropped the box of instant ramen in shock. "…what?" He stared at her in a combination of shock and worry. He could help but notice how other store patrons also stopped in their shopping to try and overhear the conversation. "Mom, is this really the time?"

"Noto, I worry about you."

"Mom, now's not the time." Despite his mild panic over the questioning of his sexuality in public, he couldn't help but feel touched that his dear forgetful mom worried about him.

"So you are, but just don't want to admit it in public?" She seemed almost relieved.

He shook his head, "No that's not it. It just came out of nowhere is all…" He started to push the cart again. "Let's finish our shopping and we can talk about it when we get home, okay?"

"Such a sweet boy," she linked an arm through his, "my darling Noto."

He flushed and felt bad, because he knew she'd have a memory lapse in-between now and then and that he was taking advantage of the disability. But one day, she'd remember it and he'd have to answer that dreaded question.

As predicted, his mother questioned where she was once they were in the checkout line, and he calmly explained the situation. After paying for her because she forgot her wallet, "Thank you, Neida," they walked home through the crowds and put away the groceries. Neku started dinner for her, reminding her that food was on the stove cooking until she took up the task. He waited for the usual, "Oh, that shouldn't be burning" before entering his room, shutting the door and collapsing on his bed.

He eventually rolled over, adjusting after almost choking himself with his headphones and stared at his roof. Neku closed his eyes, sighing, eyes sliding closed as he relaxed. He felt the weight on his bed, it started at the foot, climbing up his body much like a cat, straddling his hips and chest. Even through the song, he heard the giggle before lips brushed against his, softly, gently.

They brushed against his again, a bit stronger before opening, a tongue tracing his upper lip before he actually opened his mouth to accept the tongue. The mouth pulled away, another giggle, and then the mouth came back stronger, a body melting against his.

"Netto, dinner!"

Neku jolted off his bed at the sound of his mother calling for him. He left the headphones and mp3 on his bedside table, shaken and slightly disturbed. A dream or real? If a dream, it was supposedly his 'hidden desires' materializing. If it was real, Joshua fricken Kiryu just tried to snog him. Neither answer left him pleased.

He joined his mother in the kitchen, the meal already plated and looking delicious despite the faint burn marks on the vegetables. He sat down, offering his mother a smile as she placed their drinks on the table. "Thank you, mom."

She smiled widely, and they began eating. As Neku started on his vegetables, his mother zoned out mid-bite. "Nektarea?"

"Hmm?" He wondered faintly what that name came from but answered nonetheless.

She took a bit of her small serving of meat, seemed to chew it slowly, as if drawing out for time. "Don't you have a friend named Joshua?" Neku dropped his utensils, staring at his mom in shock. He wanted to scream and yell, knowing it wasn't the answer.

 _Why does she remember his name from that one meeting, but can never remember mine?_

This revelation called for an angst-fest, and in result had him slumping slightly, almost into his food. "I wouldn't call him a friend… more like an acquaintance. Or annoyance."

"I see," she seemed to nod, "does he annoy you because he makes you question your sexuality?"

"…WHAT?" He couldn't hold back his knee-jerk reaction, immediately feeling like a dick when she recoiled and appeared properly chastened, if not sad. "Where did you get that idea from?"

"I remember him being slightly… gay, and I worry about you Nektarea, so I must know if you're going to give me grandchildren or not."

Neku cradled his head in his hands and wanted to cry.

 _giggle_


	20. 11. Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> extremely drabble-tastic

Considering how often Neku found himself in mind-boggling situations enough to have an inclination to commit suicide or need some kind of anti-psychotic to remove the thoughts and worries from his mind, the teenager somehow survived (which was amazing in the fact that hundreds of his fellow students and teens would have cracked long beforehand). Without his headphones, without his music, he had to connect with people, connect with others, had to listen to their boring drabble, their worthless ramblings, and yet he was alright with that. It had to be a form of insanity all on its own, Joshua thought amused at the numerous negative thoughts and almost homicidal ideas spinning in his Proxy's mind, but it was a kind that was willingly chosen, and thus all the more sweeter.


	21. 91. Triangle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: implications of mPreg,
> 
> Disclaimer: These conversations and such are majority from rage comics, memebase, failblog and other addicting sites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy, this is mostly just crack. You can see all the conversations in my album on facebook, titled "If Joshua & Neku had a kid". Also, thank Tysonkaiexperiment for encouraging me to write this, being an awesome muse for me. I don't know how you'd get any of my fics updated without her. Also, if you aren't aware, Tke and I are co-writing a fic called "Flying on the Wings of Shibuya", its an American Magee's AlicexWEWY fic and we'd love to hear people's thoughts on it. Thank you!

__

Less than a year…

When Sanae Hanekoma decided to enter the Dead God's Pad, he had to turn around, leave, and walk back in, just because he didn't believe what he was seeing. Over the years, Neku had grown up, matured, become more adult like despite his constant communication with Shibuyan Composer Yoshiya. Because Neku aged, Yoshiya was 'kind' and decided to age in appearance with him, only after much prodding by his Proxy.

But when Neku had somehow become pregnant with J's kid, Sanae took a step back. He knew the Higher Ups wouldn't be pleased with the romantic relationship between Composer and Conductor/Former-Proxy and he wanted nothing to do with any issues that would come up. It was at that point, after Neku gave birth to little Tsubaki, a tiny premature baby girl with Neku's bright blue eyes and Joshua's ash colored hair, that Yoshiya approached the Higher Ups, asking for permission to keep his family as long as he promised no more occurrences of the Three Week Game or unnecessary death causing. The Angels agreed, and Yoshiya got to have his daughter and 'wifey'.

It was five months later, and Sanae never thought he would have seen what he was just seeing. Mama Neku (as the Reapers and Yoshiya had nicknamed him) was standing there, hip cocked to the side as his little girl was already attempting to stand, to pull herself up and climb up his leg. Sanae briefly wondered if that was normal for a human child, but a child of J and Neku was bound to be an anomaly (and that was just ignoring the male pregnancy bit). Neku's bright eyes seemed to glare at Joshua, unblinking, burning a hole through him, and the Composer fidgeted.

"But why?" J almost whined, a hand immediately going up to play with his hair (a sign of sexual frustration if Uzuki was correct when she informed him of that tidbit, but that was never anything he wanted to know about J's sex life). "You can take Tsubaki with you! She loves leaving the Pad."

"No," Neku's voice was flat and hard, his glare dropping when Tsubaki fell down harder than before, quickly scooping the girl up and checking her over for injuries before letting her continue. "Tsubaki's still too young to be safe from all the bacteria out there. She is behind on her shots and we need to get that done before we take her out in public." He rolled his eyes as if thinking Yoshiya was an idiot (which, from what Sanae had heard when Neku needed to rant, wouldn't be a first time). "I need you just to watch over her for today. Five hours. That's it. Request the help from a Reaper if you must, I just need to go out and get supplies."

"The Reapers can go get supplies," J's gaze was now focused on little Tsubaki, the ashy haired girl staring up at her Mama with wide eyes, arms outstretched, wanting to be picked up. "You know she adores you, she'll just cry the whole time you're gone."

Neku's eyes narrowed, the air in the Pad crackled, and Sanae wondered if he was going to get caught in the crossfire of a pissed off former Proxy. "I won't always be able to watch her. Take some responsibility, dammit Josh!" He crossed his arms, his glare faltering when Tsubaki let out a whining sound. "No baby, Mama's putting Papa in his place." And it appeared to be succeeding. Reluctantly Yoshiya stepped up and picked Tsubaki up, placing her on his hip as he scowled.

"Papa's not happy."

Neku grinned, "Doesn't matter, because Mama's pleased." He practically bounced over to his daughter, kissing her on her forehead before kissing Yoshiya on the cheek. "Be good, you have my number. Gotta meet up with Shiki." Yoshiya's mouth dropped open.

"You're meeting with Shiki!" He sputtered, having lost all elegance in his actions when Sanae got to see the tender moment of J's first time getting to hold his daughter (the mask he wore around everyone but his family had dropped, thus making Neku the main director of the Reapers). "Why?"

"Need supplies, she needs supplies for Eri's latest design," Neku shrugged, twirling some keys in his hands. "Seemed to work out." Neku shot Sanae a grin, waving a quick 'bye' to his daughter and disappearing out of the Pad. Yoshiya stared after him, dumbfounded.

"He just played me…"

Sanae shrugged, "Maybe you can use the experience to bond with your daughter. You know, so she doesn't grow up thinking you don't love her or something."

Yoshiya glanced down at her, the bright blue eyes staring up at him unblinking, much like her 'mother's' unnerving stare. "Hey, Tsubaki." She tilted her head. "Hey, darling." She blinked. Yoshiya's mouth twisted as he began to think. "Hey baby girl," he shakes his head, "no, doesn't sound right."

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to give her a nickname. That means love, yes?"

Sanae wanted to facepalm. How Neku and Yoshiya had become romantically involved was completely beyond everyone. No one knew they were even together until Neku had a panic attack and announced it to the Reapers that he was preggers and he had no idea if dead people were supposed to be able to have kids (THAT was a fiasco he hated having to clean up). "J, go take her to the park; do… do fatherly things with her."

Yoshiya nodded slowly. "Okay, to the park." He shifted his clothes into something more human and less angelic robes before grabbing the bag Neku always kept at hand, always stocked with anything he could need while out and about with Tsubaki.

Against his better judgment, Sanae let him go with her by himself. If it was really bad enough, as a Composer, J could easily fix it by modifying Shibuya's score; Neku would eventually sense the shift in music, but then there would be no physical evidence of anything happening. The man who loved coffee beans shrugged and went about his business in the Dead God's Pad.

Yoshiya appeared home a couple hours later, his hair all mussed, looking completely exhausted. Tsubaki was sleeping on his shoulder, completely exhausted herself. The Composer had enough time to place her in her crib, put down the bag full of supplies and collapse on the couch before Neku came back home, looking as wide awake and pleased as he had been when he left. He took in the sight of the collapsed Joshua and his sleeping daughter, shook his head, kissed them both on the forehead and went to take the bed.

In the morning, Neku listened amused to Yoshiya's rant on Tsubaki's energetic behavior. Almost finished with feeding her, Neku finally bothered tuning into the rant. "At the park she tried to get to the bushes with bees, she was tripping on the concrete! During a bath she tried to drink soap and shampoo, and stand up, even though she knows quite well she'll slip and fall. When I fed her she tried to jump from the highchair and was putting anything not edible into her mouth!" Yoshiya flailed an arm about, trying to convey his frustration, the other hand holding his cup of coffee calmly.

"Did you even give her a bath?" Neku questioned, playfully smelling Tsubaki, sniffing all over her neck and shoulders, tickling her with his slightly longer hair.

Yoshiya blinked. "That's not the point." He placed the coffee on the table, before wildly flailing. "I kept asking the princess, 'why are you trying to kill yourself? Do you not want to be Queen of Shibuya?'"

Neku sighed. "You're calling her Princess?"

"I liked it better than any of the other pet names I could have given her."

The Conductor snorted.

 __

At age ten…

The night Neku finally had enough with playing the little wife, (cooking, cleaning, all stereotyped as woman duties, which was totally sexist in his mind because they were all good life skills to have), Yoshiya and the little Princess were forced to clean dishes while Neku relaxed on the large bed, undoubtedly asleep within minutes.

Yoshiya was instructing her on the way to clean certain objects, telling her to be careful when cleaning the large knife used to cut the chicken. "Now remember, princess, when you drop a knife, you have to get away, because you know it's going to put a hole right through your foot. You don't want to end up like your mom."

Her eyes widened, staring at her Papa in shock. "What? He did that?" She almost ran to her mother, wanting to ask him all about it, why he dropped the knife, why didn't he move? All those questions were running through her head.

Yoshiya tugged her back to the dishes, handing her the sponge she dropped in shock. "No, you just don't want to end up like your mom."

 __

At age twelve…

Tsubaki yawned, stretching her arms high above her head before almost slumping against the wall. It was lunch time and she was waiting patiently for her friend's appearance before eating. It had been a trying day in class, and she just wanted to sit and relax with her friends for a little while. Glancing at the clock, spotting almost half the designated time had passed; she gave up and began eating from the bento her Mama made her.

Neku had taken to wearing more effeminate clothing, allowing his spiky hair to fall around his face, and as such Tsubaki was able to introduce Neku and Yoshiya as Mama and Papa to her friends if she wished. Neku even showed up at Parent Teacher conferences, appearing as effeminate as possible, trying to make his daughter have an easier life with her friends and peers.

Her cell beeped, and she scurried to pull it out of her bag. It was a message from her mother, and she opened it curiously.

-I don't know how to start… I hate you. I've never loved you. I want you to leave, tonight. Don't tell anyone, just pack your bags and go, and don't come back!—

Tsubaki choked on her food, quickly replying. –WHAT? What did I do? Please let me stay!- this came out of nowhere, what did she do that dearest mama would throw her out? Tsubaki was a Mama's girl, and totally hero worshiped the man that survived three weeks of the Game, married her Papa and proceeded to give birth to her. And now… She completely forgot about her food, focusing on the message that came in reply.

\- No, my decision is made, goodbye-

Tsubaki typed her response faster than she ever typed anything before. – MOM, WHAT THE HELL, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO :'( -

There was a pause of five minutes, where Tsubaki seemed to forget to even breathe, eyes wide, glowing with her worry as she stared at her phone screen in anticipation.

\- Oh shit honey, sorry, I meant to send that to your father –

Tsubaki found herself slumping over in relief, just pleased her mother didn't mean to send them to her. It was a miscommunication error of a grand scale. But… She typed her response, scowling as the bell signaled the end of lunch. – WHAT! What did dad do? MOM! –

 __

At age fourteen…

Tsubaki sat on the large leather couch, hunched over as she worked busily to finish her homework, trying to be done before the weekend. She always liked to finish her work as fast as possible, in order to free up more time for studying music or shopping with her friends. Neku stood in the area that was once a bar, which had been renovated into a kitchen with a breakfast nook, humming Shibuya's song under his breath. Her homework was to do a report on her family, her parents' opinions and such, and Neku was doing his best to answer with what he knew, telling her mostly, "Go ask your Papa."

At the question "does your mother think you take after your father", Neku paused. "Other than your hair, you look like a female me… so appearance wise no."

Her phone beeped, and she checked the message, leaving her mother to go back to work in the kitchen (a job her parents alternated every week). It was from Tamotsu, telling her the first stop on their weekend shopping trip was going to be Lapin Angelique. She squealed, typed her reply in all caps and proceeded to dance about the room, singing that she was going to Lapin Angelique. As a Princess, as her Papa called her, needed the most flow-y, lacy, ruffle-y, epic dresses ever, and she was basically encouraged to shop there from the age of five on.

Neku shook his head, rolling his eyes at his daughter. "You know, you do take after your papa." Tsubaki stopped dancing, peering at her Mama curiously. "But it's all the bad stuff. Quit it."

 __

At age sixteen…

Tsubaki waved a goodbye to Tamotsu, telling him to say hi to Aunt Shiki for her before stepping inside her home. She dropped her bag by the door, sighing happily as she finds the stash of cookies in the kitchen, grabbing one to take with her to her room. Her Mama and Papa were in the living room, paperwork for the Game strewn about them, Neku's hair pulled into a ponytail on the top of his head, Yoshiya's hands fiddling with a hair band as he read over page after page.

She walked back and grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. "I'm home," she greeted finally, offering her two parents a bright grin. Neku offered her one in return, looking tired, eyes slightly red from the reading of fine print.

"Welcome home, do you have homework?" She nodded.

Yoshiya cleared his throat. "Go do it, you're cock-blocking me."

The wifey and his daughter stared at him, their faces betraying that feeling of "really? You really just said that?" before Tsubaki trudged to her room, dutifully closing her door behind her, just in case her papa really was trying to initiate something.

 __

At age eighteen…

The daughter of Shibuya's Composer and Conductor stared at her parents over the dinner table. Neku was all dressed up, ready to escort his daughter to her new home in another ward of Tokyo, glancing up occasionally at her to make sure she was alright before lowering his gaze to his food and sniffing, trying to hide the tears growing in his eyes. Yoshiya continued to eat his meal like nothing was different, that his eighteen year old daughter wasn't moving out of Shibuya, where he could watch out for her, save her if anything was to go wrong.

She swallowed, pushing her plate away. Neku glanced up worriedly, "Are you alright? You've barely touched your curry tonight."

She smiled slightly, "I'm alright, Mama, I'm just…." She cleared her throat, sitting upright, prim and proper like 'a true princess', not missing the smile from her Papa at that thought. "I want you to know that I'm not leaving because I hate you or anything. I need to explore the world, get to broaden my horizons, you know?"

Neku and Yoshiya shared a look, Neku's worried face softening into a smile as he picked up the empty plates and pushed hers back towards her. "Eat, or you won't be able to sleep."

"Princess, listen," Yoshiya adapted the tone he always got when he had to be Mister-Evil-Death-God-Composer-Man, "your mama and I will always support you. You need it, if we can do it, it's done." He scowled slightly, muttering something about how it wasn't right that Tamotsu and his daughter were moving in together (a fact that still ticked him off, even after reading Tamotsu's innermost thoughts and finding the boy had nothing but brotherly affection for her). "Unless they find a dead hooker in your car with her blood on your hands. Well, we'll still support you, because let's face it, the bitch probably had it coming."

With an exasperated smile, Tsubaki hugged her father tightly across the table, murmuring 'love you' into his collar. He patted her on the back before pulling away. "Mush tomorrow, now eat your dinner. Mama slaved over that stove for hours."


	22. 60. Rejection

Neku yawned, wandering through the memorized layout of Shibuya, having lived there far too long to let his exhaustion interfere with his navigation. It was year three since he became Shibuya's Conductor; three years since he decided to live a non-life with Joshua, helping control and direct the Reapers Game and decide which souls were worthy for rebirth. Three years since he had a true vacation as well… thus his message to Joshua the night before.

"Could I get next Wednesday off?"

Sure Joshua was a lenient Composer, allowing Neku to interact with the living far more than any other Conductor did: Neku was able to stay with his parents, (they had the belief he was going to school for a degree in Music and Art, Neku suspected Joshua had something to do with that) he was able to meet up with Shiki, Beat and Rhyme, his body 'aged' like it was supposed to, (even though he was dead). Neku knew he abused Joshua's fondness for his 'Proxy' but Neku couldn't give up life just yet.

Arriving at the Shibuya River, Neku blinked at the odd paper floating in midair, right where the entrance to the Dead God's Pad would be. The way it fluttered in the odd occasional breeze made it seem like it was taped at the top to the invisible door. Neku rolled his eyes at his odd boss's behavior and started to read, his eyes getting wider and wider with every sentence.

\-- So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.

There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have two days off per week. Leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break that accounts for 23 days each year—leaving only 68 days available. With a one hour lunch period per day, you have used up another 46 days leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days available for work. We are off for 5 holidays per year, so you're available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give you 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if you're going to take that day off! --

Neku blinked, shook his head and sighed. Figures the Composer would come up with something like that. He folded the paper and slipped it in his pocket before entering the Dead God's Pad. Joshua was lounging on the leather couch, a slightly transparent piece of parchment floating in front of him. The smug bastard sent him a smirk, "Got your answer?"


End file.
